Confessions of a non-trad: Part two
In which I expound on the power of positive thinking
February 28, 2008
By Joshua Anderson
So I’m supposed to be working on my column right now (sorry Bryan), but it just so happened that I’m writing this blog instead. This is okay, because it perfectly illustrates its own point. And I’ll be writing it next. I promise.
The function of this blog entry was to perform a certain amount of what my personal communication textbook calls “personal disclosure”. By its very nature this entails a certain level of vulnerability on my part, but that is part and parcel of the whole spiel.
In my life there exists a certain cliche - one of many, I’m sure - but one that I feel I must express. Telling you this proves that I’m not trying to impress you. In fact, I’m not sure why I’m telling you this. Wait - now I remember.
I turned 29 this year. My second child was born a little under two-weeks ago. My first is just over three. For years I’d been working construction before coming back to school with the intention of actually finishing. Bundled with my new goal - along with a few others I’m not going to tell you about (and that I don’t call my ‘bucket list’) - is the goal to finish the novel I’ve been working on by the time I am 30.
Wow. I know, breakthrough news.
What triggered my confession before the virtual community was a set of photos I found on the website of a little-known poet who I’d written a paper on and thus saved his website on my toolbar. From time to time I visit to surf his links page or check out his stuff. The photos were of a party he and his wife or his publisher had thrown in celebration of the publishing of his book, Suckerpunch. When I saw them I thought to myself how nice it would be to have a party like that. It wouldn’t matter if the book was successful or even if it was good - just that I did it. Finished it.
So yeah. I’m the fellow who mentions the novel he is working on in passing conversation. And to make it worse, it turns out it’s basically a touching coming of age story set in the midwest. A TOUCHING COMING-OF-AGE STORY SET IN THE MIDWEST. Blech. Just what we need. Oh well, just because things are marketed to sound worse than they are (hopefully), doesn’t mean they won’t be instant classics worthy of hefty royalties. Anyway, the party should be fun.
So in an effort to distract you long enough to make you forget I just said that, here is a list of four great ideas of mine in the form of great bands that should exist that I am willing to sell, seeing as how intellectual property is of no use to me.
4. ORC HUNTER - A Fantasy-Metal band ala’ Amon Amarth and Dragonforce (the greatest band in the world, btw). Before each song, during the long drawn out “atmospheric” introduction we’ll play the clip from the last scene of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings where Viggo Mortensen utters: “Let’s Hunt Some Orc”. Then the metal slaughter of proverbial Orc will insue.
3. ONE HUNDRED BAD GUYS WITH SWORDS, or XXX100BGW/SXXX - a hardcore band ala’ Black Flag or Minor Threat that plays punk rock covers of Disney songs. Some hits might include “A Whole New World” and “The Colors of the Wind” - with gang vocals, of course.
2. THE TACHI STATION POWER CONVERTERS - A 3rd Wave Ska band that dresses up like Jedi Masters, Knights and/or Padawon learners and skanks to some rad rebel ska tunes! Our first hit will be ”You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done, now c'mon get to it.” Pick it up pick it up pick it up!
1. JON BON JOVI-TRON- Basically just a dude with some beat machines and records doing electronic covers of classic JBJ songs to dance your booty off too, like when you go to Neon and stuff cool like that.
So yeah. Let me know if you’re buying. They’re going fast so get ‘em while they’re hot. Also, if you let me be in the band I’ll give you a discount.
the black rabbit is black on the outside because he’s black on the inside
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"So yeah." Repeat points docked. Again.
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