Border rivalry renamed ... again

University of Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins announced yesterday that the official title of the KU-Missouri rivalry would be altered in order to avoid what he referred to as “an overly competitive sense of competition.”

Perkins noted that the official moniker of the rivalry, “The Border Showdown,” was too confrontational and might send the wrong message to impressionable students of both universities.

“I’ve spoken with Missouri’s AD, Michael Alden, and we both agreed that the current name did a disservice to the actual showdowns that are going on in other areas of the world,” Perkins said in his weekly press conference. “The word ‘showdown’ has such a powerful meaning to those who are involved in them, that we did not want to risk offending them. Granted no one has complained yet, but there is the potential that someone may complain at some point in the future, so we must be proactive.”

Perkins announced that the rivalry would be renamed the “Border Co-existence” in reference to the fact that both universities do co-exist. Perkins said that the new name would encourage Kansas fans to think of the University of Missouri as a neutral entity and not as a rival.

As part of his continuing efforts to completely emasculate the Kansas sports image, Perkins has also stated that any shirts, signs or chants that encourage the University to succeed at the expense of others would also be prohibited.

“I go to sporting events and see T-shirts that say ‘Muck Fizzou’ or ‘Go Jayhawks’ and I worry that we’re sending the wrong message to our kids.” Perkins said. “After all, the purpose of collegiate sports isn’t to beat other teams — it’s to generate revenue.” Perkins finished the press conference by stating that with new corporate sponsorship, the official title of the rivalry would be “ESPN presents the Cooper Tires Border Co-existence sponsored by Nextel.”

 

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