Thursday, April 7, 2005
Q: I’m going to have a threesome with my girlfriend and this other really hot chick and I was wondering if there are any tips of etiquette you can bring to my attention, like initiation, timing, amount of attention or other details that I will most certainly overlook in my state of excitedness. Thanks. —Jake, senior
Chris: Definitely talk to your GF beforehand and find out what she’s
comfortable with you doing. It’s not uncommon for people who are down with threesomes to not be cool with their partner going down on or effing the other person. Selfish? Maybe, but common regardless. I’d just get drunk and follow the lead of the ladies.
Jessi: Be careful. When people seek out sex with people other than their partners, even in a threesome, they are usually trying to compensate for something lacking in their relationship. As Chris said, be sure to talk things over with your girlfriend and have her give your reasons as to why this interests her. Be honest with each other, and figure out if this is what you BOTH really want.
Q: Whenever I meet someone we eventually talk about when we’re graduating and once I mention I’m done in May, if the girl is younger, I think she gets turned off because I’ll be leaving town soon. Should I lie about being a senior or what? —Kevin, senior
Chris: No. Only skeevy guys at the Hawk lie about being freshmen when they are really going on 30. If a girl doesn’t want to date a senior, she won’t. And for your sake, you shouldn’t be bothered by being turned down by people with such superficial standards. Do your thing, tell the truth and eventually your girl will come around.
Jessi: Definitely don’t lie because if you were to start something with her and have it actually last, she’d be even more pissy knowing you were graduating sooner than planned. Tell these people the truth so that you have a solid foundation built on trust, not lies.
Q: Sometimes I just really want to get laid. What’s the best way to hit on a guy without looking like a slut? —Stephanie, senior
Chris: Well, you shouldn’t care about looking like a slut, because most guys couldn’t care less. I would just walk up to the guy and say “Hey, I want you to eff me tonight.” It’ll end up happening and you can clarify later that you’re “not usually that forward” or whatever. But it’s a foolproof method to getting laid. Note: Guys cannot use this method. It doesn’t work.
Jessi: Let’s face it. There is no way. When you’re looking for sex, you’re looking for sex alone with no attachment, which many people construe as “slut-like behavior,” regardless of gender. You can either find a guy who wants to use your body and you can use his in those few minutes of what you call “bliss,” or you can hold out for a REAL relationship and focus your sexual energy into something more lasting and true.
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