Editor’s Note: Sex is an important part of many students’ lives, and our new sex columnist, Jamie, will strive to explore this complex subject in a professional, mature and extensive manner. That being said, there are some students who may find Miss Epstein’s columns offensive and, dare I say it, dirty. In order to help prepare our readers for the initial shock, I have created some guidelines for whether you should read this column:

First of all, if you are Bob Dole, do not read this column. If you are a person who admires Bob Dole in any way, do not read this column. If you are ever flipping through the channels, and you see Bob Dole and you don’t immediately continue changing the channel, do not read this column.

I hope that this proves to be only the first of many rendezvous; for I hope all of you will eventually find this to be as stimulating to read as I do. I humbly provide my services, with a mix of both enjoyment and information. This is not intended to cause too hard of a problem for students during class, and hopefully not for any instructors.

Now that we have taken care of the preliminaries, let us be off like a dress on prom night. A common concern, especially for men, is penis size. Assuming no one here is an inch or less, there is still plenty to work with. The media has warped our minds into stressing penis and breast size, when bigger isn’t always better. The average length of the penis is about six inches, some will tell you five-something and others say it’s more then six. To make it simple, just think about six inches, and that is sexually aroused. Flaccid equals much smaller, as I am sure the horny students at the University have figured out by now. As for girth, I am going to say it’s between four and five inches. According to a study I saw at http://www.edu.uni-klu.ac.at/~amiklaut/ask.htm, the size is 4.84, but given my experience with statistics, that is only an approximate.

Now, that being said, girth is much more important than length. Think of it like this, if she cannot feel the stimulation on the walls of her vagina, she won’t enjoy the sex. Another down side is that if her walls don’t respond, she can’t clamp down onto you, preventing you from getting the stimulation you want. There are ways to defeat a short circumference though. Pleasure her first. If she orgasms, her muscles will have already clamped down. However, if she is unable to reach her peak (and making sure it is her decision to stop trying to force the reaction) she still will have created a tighter space after feeling your fingers inside her. It is easier to tickle her insides with fingers than a penis given the joints and bones involved.

Too big can also be a scary thing. Yes, a baby’s head is supposed to be able to pass, but not all women are willing to risk a rip. In this case, again pleasuring her will help. Only this time, nothing should be penetrating her. Her juices will be flowing and she will relax to be able to take more. Anal sex can also be painful when involving too large of a phallus, but that is another column entirely.

Length is less important than girth. While some of us might like to try a foot-long, chances are that pain will be the result. Instead we take pleasure in what we are given. If you fear being too short, again there is a trick. Roll her onto her shoulders, by placing her ankles on your shoulders. This allows for deeper penetration and even for those who do not lack in length, try it, you both might like it.

This information, while new to some, and yet a review to others will I hope provide hours of enjoyment to those who choose to use it. May all your sexual encounters be “safe, sane and consensual”. Enjoy, and have fun.