Back when Stephanie Bottoms, Omaha junior, “thought she was heterosexual,” she went on a date with one of her guy friends. They went out for lunch. She had already eaten but he hadn’t. “I was going for the company, not for the food.” she says. She decided not to let him eat alone, so she got a salad. While waiting for the food, Bottoms took a toothpick from the table and stuck it in her mouth. “Take...that toothpick…out of your mouth,” her date said rudely. When the date was over, he also criticized Bottoms for only getting a salad. There was no second date.

“In short, he was a dick,” Bottoms says.

Criticizing your date is something you don’t want to do, especially on the first date, which by nature can be a troubling experience. First dates can be scary and filled with perils, but with some help, you can make first dates work for you.

By the book

Photo by Kit Leffler

Models: Edward Etts, Manhattan senior and Amy Levin, Prairie Village senior

“If I feel that it’s somebody I can have a connection with, I get nervous,” says Bottoms. She says she gets that way because she has a lack of control and doesn’t know how the other person feels.

According to Dating for Dummies, by author and radio psychologist Joy Browne, asking for a first date is scarier than the actual first date. She says that you won’t die if the person says no and that life will still go on, but it always helps the person to ask. “Remember that you’re not looking for a cure for cancer,” writes Browne.

When asking for a first date, Browne recommends asking in person is the best way. You can read body language and see whether the potential date looks pleased, terrified, revolting or delighted. She also recommends to give at least seven to 10 days’ notice before the actual date.

And don’t ask for dates on Friday and Saturday nights. It’s the equivalent of playing at Wimbledon without even having a lesson. Start off with a Wednesday or Thursday night. People usually don’t have things planned. Avoid Mondays like the plague. “Everyone hates Mondays,” Browne writes. She also recommends doing something that doesn’t involve “high-ticket” people. That means steering clear of doing anything with or introducing your date to friends, family, exes, kids or animals. With your high-ticket others around, it can feel like an audition.

Drew Kreofsky, Minnesota freshman, says that the first date always feels like an interview. It’s a way to get to know the person better and you can gauge whether or not you like him or her and to see if you have anything in common.

Dream date

While the dream first date is hard to find, it can be achieved. Bottoms remembers her best first date well and says that she didn’t even see it coming. Her date had her dress up fancily for a dinner date. When Bottoms went to her car, the date had a friend there dressed really nicely, ready to chauffer the two around all night. After a nice dinner, they had the “chauffer” take them to the Plaza and had dessert at McCormick & Schmicks. Bottoms says the amount of effort her date put forth was the most impressive thing. “She literally swept me off my feet.” she says.

The healthy first date is the first step to a healthy relationship. It allows you get basic knowledge about the person and attempt to form a connection. And hey, if things don’t turn out well, you can always just ask someone else out.