In an unexpected fit of clarity, Kansas State University pulled the plug on its edgy Wildcat logo and gave students the opportunity to elect its replacement. In the recent vote, “Tractor” narrowly edged out “Seed” and “Dirt” to succeed “Thunderkitty.”

An anonymous Kansas State source said, “Following our football team’s humiliating loss in Lawrence, we realized the Wildcat was no longer viable.” He added that, in light of the athletic department’s meteoric return to mediocrity, the “Powercat” logo was too aggressive and “indicative of success.” Furthermore, the “Tractor” logo is much more representative of the campus’ rural setting and benign nature.