Here’s a terrible idea: take a game with a large female fan base (The Sims), throw in a franchise with an almost entirely male fan base (Playboy), and release a game that will have almost no fan base (Playboy: The Mansion).

That must have been Cyberlore Studios’ thought process when they were designing this utterly inane game, where players take control of Playboy mastermind Hugh Hefner as he puts together his magazine empire, throws parties, has sex, and, well, not much else.

The real problem with Playboy: The Mansion is that it gives players almost nothing to do. Within a few hours, most players will have seen pretty much everything the game has to offer. The game’s mission mode gets dull and repetitive after the first few levels and the freeform mode does little to help the monotony. The business aspects of the game will keep some players interested, but the dull gameplay between issues will likely turn even the most die-hard digital entrepreneurs away.

Even from a technical perspective, the game is subpar. The graphics are simplistic and cartoony, the frame rates are frequently choppy, and the game’s Sims style voice-overs are annoying at best.

Also worth noting are the game’s laughable “sexual” situations. For a franchise that has always been on the forefront of the sexual revolution, the sex in this game is less “Playboy” and more “Doped Up Gymnastics With Clothes On”.

There’s really not much else to say about Playboy: The Mansion. There are better and cheaper ways of entertaining yourself. Save $50 and just spend an extra 10 minutes in the bathroom.

Grade: D