Broken toilets. Dead animals. Random salesmen. These can either be horrible or ordinary occurrences, depending on what constitutes “ordinary.” In the spirit of Teen Magazine’s monthly “Why Me?” section, here are a handful of KU students’

college life horror stories.

Josh Oaks, Horton sophomore, was having a party in his apartment when an intoxicated female guest flushed her cell phone down the toilet.

The maintenance staff recovered the ruined cell phone, but the toilet was permanently broken.

Oaks said the worst part of the ordeal was not the $120 he was charged for the new toilet but that the waterlogged phone was left in the bathtub for him to throw out.

One night in February, Andy Nissen, Hutchinson, Minn., sophomore, found a dead snake on his kitchen floor.

The snake was about 5 inches long, but it disturbed him that it was inside his apartment, especially during the winter.

“I don’t know how you find a snake in February,” he said.

Last year Kendall Dix, Prairie Village senior and Kansan copy editor, lived in a house on Ohio Street with eight roommates. One night, his simian roommate got so drunk he karate-kicked out the triple-paned glass of the house’s front door.

“I don’t think the guy could have gotten his foot that high ever again — even if he was sober,” Dix said. A trash bag covered the door for weeks.

“Of course, the baboon’s leg didn’t even sustain a scratch,” Dix said.

A carpet-cleaning product salesman took his act inside when he used his product in the apartment of Jake Hirsekorn, Lenexa sophomore.

The salesman walked in after Hirsekorn opened the door.

“We didn’t invite him in or anything,” he said.

Hirsekorn said the man thought the demonstration would convince the students to buy the product. Instead, he left a disturbed and puzzled tenant, skeptical of the salesman who had just cleaned his carpet.

Girl Scouts are expected to show up at the front door with cookies in hand. Older men are not. Ahmad Al-Gibaly, Lawrence sophomore, said a man about 50 years old, showed up at his apartment and tried to sell him cookies.

Scott Kvasnik, New Hope, Minn., junior and member of the Kansan advertising staff, was planning to live this year with his best friend, who he’d known since eighth grade. But three days out, the roommate called Kvasnik to say, “By the way, I’m not coming to school, I won’t pay rent and I won’t pay utilities.”

Kvasnik said his landlord could still decide to sue, because Kvasnik and his almost-roommate didn’t live up to the contract they signed.

Anja Winikka, Overland Park senior and Jayply writer, didn’t face just the threat of being sued — she went as far as representing herself in small claims court.

Almost a year after living in a two-bedroom apartment with a friend, Winikka received a notice in the mail that the former roommate was suing her for abandoning her lease. Winikka consulted Legal Services for Students and made sure all her legal bases were covered. The two went to court, and though Winikka had done nothing wrong legally, the judge split the difference of the suit between the roommates.