Droppin’ Science: Research hurts KU

Danny Flores, Tulsa junior, is a budding research scientist, and his friends are sick of it.

“Ever since he declared a psychology major, he’s always pulling some shit on everyone and calling it an ‘experiment,’” said Jennifer Ramley, Flores’ longtime friend.

Once, Flores monitored reactions to “obstruction stimuli” by tripping people on campus all day. Many bruised shins resulted, but the young “Maslow” maintained his academic distance, murmuring, “Interesting...” while furrowing his brow and dodging thrown objects.

“It may take years for people to realize it, but they’re contributing to my future greatness by being my subjects today,” Flores said. “Until then, I have to stay focused. Right now I’m preparing a groundbreaking investigation into the way the average post-adolescent male responds to having his pants pulled down on Wescoe Beach.”

Tongue In Beak and Droppin’ Science wish Mr. Flores good luck and eagerly await his findings.

Sam Hopkins

 

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