Thursday, September 1, 2005
Do you hate people? Well, have no fear my anti-social friend, for the new age of technology is here to save you the trouble of having actual human contact ever again.
Too lazy to go patrol your local red light district? Just switch on your computer and head to one of the many fantasy-specific porn sites that cater to all your late-night lovin’ needs.
Or if you want more than a solid relationship with your right hand, head to one of the many online dating sites and begin your search for your one and only, no personality required.
Hate dealing with those nerdy kids behind the counter at blockbuster? Order a movie online. Too busy to go to the grocery store? Hire someone to do it for you. Does the human race seem rude, obnoxious, and utterly stupid?
Lucky for you, now there’s a business, web portal, or complimentary service available to keep you from dealing with them ever again.
10 years ago, boys that stayed inside playing video games instead of throwing around a football with their buddies would have been considered losers. But now, whole fraternities will kick aside the basketball in order to decapitate people in Halo 2.
Guys everywhere are ditching the park in order to meet up online for a rousing game of Counterstrike.
These days it seems all human contact is being replaced by technology. You can even listen to church in podcasts, online recordings of prolonged monologues or sermons.
In an August article in the New York Times, it was recorded that “since the beginning of July, the number of people or groups offering spiritual and religious podcasts listed on PodcastAlley.com has grown from 177 to 474.” Are people really that busy now that they can’t go to church?
One of my favorite “Family Guy” episodes is the one where Peter Griffin gets his own theme music for his everyday actions. “Wouldn’t it be cool,” I thought, “to have a sound track to your everyday life?”
Well, thanks to iPod, now I can. You can’t go anywhere on campus without seeing someone jamming to their own theme music, even striding along to the beat of whatever tune is playing.
While escaping everyday reality can be a nice break sometimes, slipping on headphones for the excruciatingly long trek from Wescoe to Strong seems a bit ridiculous.
You can get from one side of campus to the other in less than 10 minutes, which is barely time enough to hear two songs. Is it really that necessary to ignore everyone you see for two songs that you’ve probably heard at least twenty times before?
Sure, iPods and CD players are great things to have when you’re running on a treadmill or zoning out in class, but why not talk to people in line at the Underground or give a shout out to your acquaintances as you’re passing them on campus?
I met my best friend and current roommate because I randomly started talking to her on the bus last year.
Yes, it’s annoying when you’re in a grumpy mood and some “Chatty Cathy” won’t leave you alone, but hey, people skills are a great thing to have in life, so suck it up and deal with the human race; they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Betsy McLeod is an Overland Park sophomore in journalism and French.DIY: Fix your iPod
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