I think all Kansans are racist.

OK, so all of you who say that there’s nothing in Free-For-All, that it’s very boring, do you ever think that you’re contributing to the problem? Just a thought.

Thanks to the First Amendment I can honestly say that The Aristocrats is the funniest family values joke ever.

Aw crap, Nickelback’s playing the half time show at the Super Bowl. I need to buy more bullets.

Hey Free-For-All, you’re so money you don’t even know it, baby.

No, the $71 million that was cut from preparing New Orleans for floods was cut in George Bush’s 2004 budgeting decisions, not 1993. It seems kind of sad that the only way you can defend your candidate is by making up false statements because you can’t defend him on the facts anymore.

For the person who called us pro-choicers pro-abortionists, I have news for you. You can be pro-life but still be pro-choice. You choose life.

Uh yeah, the message on KU Info says they’re in a transition period. I hope that transition is from sucking to not sucking.

I need to know the number for the KU Info. That way I can get the number for the rec center. That way I can reserve racquetball.

OK, I changed my mind. I don’t actually want the phone number. Can you just call them up for me and reserve racquetball from like 7 to 10 maybe? Thanks Free-For-All. You’re my hero.

Two, no six, no twelve, baker’s dozen.

Double popped collars? Oh honey, bad.

After sitting through my anatomy class today, I think that I may never be turned on by another vagina ever again.

Hey iPod, thanks for making those earbuds such a damn fashion trend. We’ll all thank you when we’re 30 and our ears are bleeding.

I’m glad to see that corporate America has risen to a new low. Skipping the résumé and interview process for Facebook. Unbelievable.

To the idiot who says they’re freaking out about losing Micah Downs, uh yeah, we have a guy called Brandon Rush in the three position, so yeah.

I cannot believe that businesses are using the Facebook to determine whether or not someone could be a good employee or not. I can’t think of a more idiotic way to evaluate someone.

Screw Broncos, and screw the guy who said congratulations on almost making the playoffs. You can burn in hell my friend.

To the person who’s freaking out about Micah Downs, calm down. We’re going to be just fine. It wasn’t like he played anyways.

Hey, I just want to let you know that I can do the Cryptoquip, Sudoku, and the crossword, which means I win.

To those of you complaining about Bill Self and all his transfers that he’s losing, honestly, do you really want a team led by guys like Alex Galindo, David Padgett, Micah Downs, Omar Wilkes and Nick Ba? Come on. Chalmers, Robinson, Giles, Wright, I mean even Moody. We haven’t lost anything from those transfers.

Hey, I have a great idea for all those pro-life people. Why don’t we not have any abortions, and then all you pro-life people can pay for the college that a single mother wouldn’t be able to? And then when someone gets arrested for a crime because they didn’t have two loving parents, you can live next to them. Great idea.

Every time, after every defensive possession, KU’s band needs to play the Mario theme song. That’s all.

To the guy who said he just found the Web site with all the Chuck Norris comments on it: Where the hell have you been?

Mr. T had the shortest VH1 Where Are They Now ever. It was a black screen with white words written across saying “He’s right behind you.

So what’s up with all these sorority girls sitting in the front row not wearing blue? Seriously, come on!

I don’t know why everybody doesn’t see it. Darnell Jackson is Baby Shaq.

This is to the editor of Free-For-All, will you go out with me? Yes, no, or maybe? Circle one.

(Editor’s note: If no, check maybe?)