It’s an abnormally balmy January afternoon when Kelly Mills, Delaware, Ohio, graduate student, agrees to talk about her recent engagement and upcoming wedding to Marc Radasky, first-year law student at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. After 10 minutes of informalities about her family and how she made the decision to move to Kansas from Washington, D.C., she begins to glance at the clock positioned on the opposite wall, insinuating she probably has better things to do with her time.

Her demeanor quickly changes, though, when the topic of her fiancé is mentioned. The posture of her back abruptly straightens against the back of her chair and her soft, grayish-blue eyes seem to light up from within. She is definitely a woman in love.

Like most engaged women, Mills can’t say enough about her husband-to-be. “He’s funny, extremely intelligent, passionate and he has really great hair,” she says as her thin lips widen into an even bigger smile. The fact that Mills is Methodist and Radasky is Jewish doesn’t even register on her love-o-meter.

Telling your family

Ryan McNabb, Liberal junior, has been dating his girlfriend for more than a year. McNabb is Episcopalian and he says that telling his parents about his girlfriend’s Catholic faith wasn’t difficult. McNabb is considering converting to his girlfriend’s faith. He fears that a conversation with his family about conversion could become a “big deal.”

In these situations, students often want advice on how to tell parents or grandparents about a significant other’s religious background, says Sean Heston, vice president of the KU Religious Advisers. Heston suggests that couples take time to express what is appealing about the other person’s faith and use those facts as a way to start a conversation with family members. If you know that your family will have a major problem with the relationship, figure out exactly what you plan to tell them beforehand to ease tensions.

The marriage ceremony

Another tension that interfaith couples face is deciding what kind of wedding ceremony they’ll have. Mills and Radasky have decided on a beachside ceremony that will incorporate elements from both of their faiths. The couple will recite handwritten vows under a chupah, a traditional Jewish canopy symbolizing the home that will be built by the couple, and members of both families will recite scripture readings, in English and then in Hebrew.

McNabb says that if he and his girlfriend decide to get married, it will be in a Catholic church. To McNabb, belonging to or getting married in a specific church wasn’t as important as simply going to church, any church.

“I’ve been to the Episcopalian church and it had a lot of older people. I liked Corpus Christi better and I liked the priest there better,” he says.

Raising children

Couples that plan to wed need to discuss how their children will be raised prior to getting married, Heston says.

“If you don’t deal with it ahead of time, it can come back really hard after kids are born,” he says. To ease the anxiety of extended family members, let loved ones know what to expect when children come into the picture, Heston suggests. Grandparents, especially, can put added pressure on young couples because they want their grandchildren to be raised in a certain way. Having a plan and sticking to it can ease some of these pressures, he says.

Although Mills and Radasky haven’t decided in which faith they will raise their children, Mills says they have had many constructive conversations about the topic and that they will make the decision before getting married.

Mills also plans on educating her children about both the Methodist and the Jewish faiths she says there will always be a Christmas tree and a Menorah in her house during the winter holidays.

Mills starts to hurriedly gather up her backpack. Her best advice for other interfaith couples is to “be open about your expectations. Don’t be afraid to get candid. It’s your faith. It’s your foundation,” she says.

Mills and Radasky’s situation isn’t that unusual. While exact statistics are hard to come by, approximately one million married couples living in the United States are from different faith backgrounds, says www.InterfaithFamily.com, a Web site devoted to helping members of the Jewish community interact with people from different faiths. Nearly 40,000 interfaith marriages were conducted this past year, a number that is expected to double within the next 10 years, the site says.