Tuesday, April 3, 2007
I hope Florida wins the National Championship, because Joakim Noah is my favorite player. April fools.
Does it make me a loser if I have Free for All on speed dial?
If you found my camera at the Wheel on Thursday night, please give it back. It’s good Karma.
Dear Free for All, how do you cook panda meat? I just don’t know what to do! Call me back!
I’m writing an essay, and my computer, on Microsoft Word, just tried to convince me that the term “more cleverer” would be the proper choice. How is that possible?
Don’t taste the rainbow.
I just went shooting at the skeet shooting place, and almost got hit in the head. No one said “duck” or “fore” or anything. You bastards, I hate you. That wasn’t very nice. I almost got hit by a clay pigeon!
This message is for whoever stole my shampoo and conditioner and body wash out of the ninth floor east bathroom in McCollum. You suck and you should return it. Thanks, love ya.
My best friend just inherited a car that smells like Depends and mothballs, but it’s still the sweetest fucking car I’ve ever ridden in.
Hey Free for All, this is the crossword puzzle. Me and Sudoku were wondering if you want to have a threesome with us, tonight.
Dear Gay Pride Week, I’m totally cool with everything you stand for, but please, this year, don’t do that make-out session on Wescoe Beach. PDA is gross.
Free for All, did you know that if a circumcised foreskin hits the ground it’s called a schmuck?
Free for All, somebody dropped their black, thong panties on Daisy Hill. If they could come pick those up, that’d be great.
I’m adding Free for All to the long list of things I consider to be smarter and funnier than Dane Cook.
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead United Student in the road? The dead dog might have been going to a party when it died.
Free for All: April 10, 2007
I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...
Free for All: April 30, 2007
My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...
Free For All: April 20, 2007
I just drove by Burger King, and I saw Julian Wright with ...
Free for All: April 12, 2007
I’m just holding a phone up to my face and talking to ...
Free for All: April 27, 2007
Can you tell me why I’ve been waiting in the rain for ...
Free for All: April 2, 2007
Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?
Free For All: March 26, 2007
I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...
Free For All: August 30, 2007
To the person who made the comment about the drumline: No sir, ...
Free For All: March 27, 2007
I just saw a white guy with spinning tires. Is that even ...
Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007
Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...
Free For All: April 18, 2007
Free for All is my new addiction.
Free for all: Oct. 17
Free For All: Sept. 18, 2007
Screw the K-State Power Towel. If you’re going to the KU, K-State ...
Free For All: October 5, 2007
Why do we have a purple bra on the front page of ...
Free For All: August 20, 2007
Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...
Free for All: September 21, 2007
Community college sucks. I miss you, Free for All.
Free for All: March 13, 2007
Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...
Free for All: April 13, 2007
I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...
Free For All: March 16, 2007
We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...
Free For All: October 10, 2007
Looks like someone forgot their power towel.
Free For All: October 1, 2007
Let me reiterate, the $500 ResNet fee is ridiculous.
Free for All: Sept. 14, 2007
Does anyone know what the deal is with that old crazy hippie ...
Free For All: April 5, 2007
Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...
Free for All: April 6, 2007
My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...
Free for All: March 6, 2007
There’s a fire drill, and I’m hiding in the closet. Shh, don’t ...
Free for All: May 8, 2007
My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.
Free for All: April 9, 2007
Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...
Free for All: April 26, 2007
Why do I have to pay the same amount to get taught ...
Free For All: September 4, 2007
It’d be cool if cops drove minivans.
Free For All: November 14, 2007
Dear guy in line with 110 IDs at today’s KU vs. MU ...
Free for All: February 26, 2007
"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...
Free For All: April 25, 2007
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar!
Free for All: August 16, 2007
The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...
Free For All: April 16, 2007
I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...
Free for All: September 5, 2007
So Free For All, my roommates and I don’t know how to ...
Free For All: August 22, 2007
Thank God someone is standing up for “manorexics.”
Free for All: September 28, 2007
I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...
Mersmann: We’re through, Free for All
Unanswered phone calls, humorless comments provide reason to end relationship.
Satire: Muddling through everyday life
Free For All: November 30, 2007
To the kid I copied off of: you are dead!
From left: Kimberlee Hinkle, Libby Johnson and Hannah ...
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Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
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Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
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Armed robbers continue to threaten.
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