Thursday, April 5, 2007
Baseball season has begun, and I am once again looking forward to the World Series championship I expect to be won by my team, the Pittsburgh Pirates.
Sorry, Royals fans, but this just isn’t your year, because the Pirates will be unstoppable. And because your team sucks.
Looking through the Pirates’ schedule, I foresee no reason to not anticipate a perfect season. One hundred sixty-two wins might even be too pedestrian of a goal for a baseball juggernaut such as this year’s Pirates squad. I also expect them to cure cancer and eradicate illiteracy. Reasonable expectations like these keep me from being disappointed by my team every year.
nutgraf
Why does baseball make the other professional sports look like the festivals of puke that they are? I think it’s because baseball imitates life. The baseball season is twice as long as it needs to be, just like life. Baseball games are slow and often tedious, just like life.
I know it’s common practice for opinion columnists to write about the wonderful faithful hope of baseball fans reborn every spring as the season starts anew. This is not such a piece. I don’t care about your unsubstantiated hope in your crap team. I am writing in early celebration of the first Pirates championship since 1979. And maybe even in celebration of their repeat victory next season. And for every season after that. And, consequently, I am writing to mourn the poor sportsmanship of the other 29 professional baseball teams, who will quit showing up for games in 2033, tired of 27 years of Pittsburgh dominance.
Why does baseball make the other professional sports look like the festivals of puke that they are? I think it’s because baseball imitates life. The baseball season is twice as long as it needs to be, just like life. Baseball games are slow and often tedious, just like life. Some runs are scored on dramatic hits, but most runs come from stringing together three singles, just like life. Acting like an idiot can get you ten seconds on the Jumbotron, just like life.
I don’t blame you if aren’t a Pirates fan. We can’t all be so lucky. My wife grew up in a confused household, where they not only watched American League baseball (if you can call the American League baseball), but they cheered for the Boston Red Sox. I love her anyway.
Because I have the Pirates and my wife has the Red Sox, my children think everybody is supposed to have his own team. Because they were born in Los Angeles, my daughter is a Dodgers fan and she has assigned the Angels to her younger brother. She has already determined that our next child will have to be a Royals fan. Luckily, we will run out of baby-making years before we run out of baseball teams. But no matter what teams my kids pick, my Pittsburgh Pirates will always be better.
Minster is a Lawrence junior in economics.
Atway: Five ways to improve All-Star game
Brew: Boston loss leaves fans out in ...
Boston native Max Rothman reacts to yet another painful setback from his ...
League draws World Cup-esque matches
Soccer fans who can’t wait four years between World Cups should check ...
Brew: Don't forget baseball come fall
Though football is kicking into high gear, baseball still has some excitement ...
Interview with a shortstop
Senior shortstop Erik Morrison tells Kansan baseball writer Shawn Shroyer about his ...
Japan native excels in academics, athletics
Ryotaro Hayakawa came to the U.S. without knowing how to speak English. ...
Morning Brew: It’s all about the hair
Teams make their players go clean cut, but some players prefer to ...
Morning Brew: Fall brings new life to ...
Sports fans have a lot to look forward to as the weather ...
Baseball roots run deep for Jayhawks
Family ties to MLB play a big part in the lives of ...
Morning Brew: Chiefs easy to root for
Despite a life-long love for the Steelers, one columnist finds the Chiefs ...
Jayhawks drafted into the Major Leagues
Between the draft, summer leagues and contract negotiations, the baseball team had ...
Knuckleball effective in Wakefield’s career
After 19 seasons, Tim Wakefield retired as a Red Sox.
Morning Brew: MLB deserves viewers too
The World Series has received fewer viewers each year since 2001. But ...
Morning Brew: Five sports pet peeves
Jonathan Rosa counts down the top five things that annoy him.
Colaianni: Sport fans get a break
With the excitement of NFL and college basketball over, what do we ...
Age doesn’t quell urge to go to ...
Morning Brew: Taking a swing at MLB ...
The Kansan steps into the batter’s box as America readies for opening ...
Brew: Professional sports and playoff fever
Lawrence is a melting pot of sports fans from all over, and ...
Shroyer: Major league baseball fails to inspire ...
Decades after Jackie Robinson, the MLB abandons its populist roots, racial integration
Q & A with Ritch Price
Kansas baseball coach Ritch Price sat down with sports reporter Shawn Shroyer ...
Morning Brew: Giving the pros a make-over
Cutting major sports leagues down to 24 teams each could boost talent, ...
Morning Brew: Let’s get ready to rumble
Revisit three of the greatest fights in sports history.
Van Slyke begins major league career
KU pitcher looks towards a second College ...
Shroyer: Past year holds memorable MLB highlights
From record-breaking home runs to record-breaking losses, 2007 has been a year ...
Minster: Campus isn't a sailors' convention
People use swear words as often as articles such as "the" and ...
Baseball and cheerleaders?
The road trip to Arkansas last weekend put the Jayhawks in legendary ...
Price’s graduation marks end of family playing ...
Robby or one of his brothers has been a baseball starter since ...
Former KU tackle now a Super Bowl ...
Former Jayhawk Justin Hartwig played for the Steelers during Super Bowl game.
Foes and friends, Kansas seniors have shared ...
Kansan baseball players Erik Morrison and Ryne Price have a long history ...
Five Kansas baseball players get drafted
All five Jayhawks will head to the major leagues, but Freeman made ...
Can't stop thinking about ninjas & pirates
Morning brew: Baseketball, a new American pastime
As the threat of lockouts clouds the upcoming sports seasons, writer Ethan ...
Alumnus moves into the big leagues
After graduating from the University in May, C.J. Moore received the opportunity ...
Hall of Fame predictions and wardrobe changes
Ritch Price takes time before the season starts to discuss changes for ...
Morning Brew: Tryout opportunities aplenty
The Kansas basketball team and the Arena Football League's Kansas City Brigade ...
Minster: Basketball is blocking education
Spoiled fans have forgotten the reason they came to the University. Athletics ...
K.C. Wizards to meet, greet in Lawrence
Players from the team will take part in prize drawings and foosball, ...
Brew: Post-Punxsutawney Phil Wish List
If the groundhog forecasts weather, can the brew forecast sports?
Coach starts small to dream big
Coach Ritch Price reflects on his experiences throughout the years that led ...
From left: Kimberlee Hinkle, Libby Johnson and Hannah ...
1 comment
Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
2 comments
Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
1 comment
0 comments
Armed robbers continue to threaten.
3 comments
Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
0 comments
Comments
Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.
Sign in to comment
Or login with:
OpenID