Free for All: April 6, 2007

By KANSAN

Friday, April 6, 2007

Hi Free for All, this is Amy. Chris called in on Friday to ask me to marry him, and I said “yes!” Thank you.

Whoever wrote “Dane Cook isn’t funny” in front of Wescoe Hall, neither are you.

Free for All, I think you should put on your skimpiest outfit and go out for candy, because it’s Halloween weather.

Free for All, Emily and Melissa suck at card tricks.

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, so instead she had her boyfriend stick it up her butt.

It’s a real shame that some jerk took down the pride flags from campus, but at least they’ll look good in his closet! Oh shit!

Senate, stop spending my freaking money.

I’m moving into a house tomorrow, and I’m pretty excited about it. Party at my place.

I don’t think it’s necessarily choosing between good grades and exercise as it is good grades and sleep. It’s two in the morning, and I have to get up in four hours, and I have three tests.

To the stupid sorority girl: You do snort coke, and you do own a Lexus. You just don’t know it yet.

My friend’s boyfriend has been cheating on her with her best friend, and she says any guy that wants to have sex with her can call her, right now.

To whoever just called in about a roundabout and the right of ways: I have news for you. It’s not called a “roundabout,” it’s called a “rotary.” In everywhere but Kansas, it’s called a “rotary.”

To the sorority girl: Yeah, we know you don’t drive a Lexus. You drive your daddy’s Lexus. Stop complaining.

Why don’t you print anything I ever say?

Hi Free for All. My friend is choking on a banana, but I decided to call you, instead.

Free for All, why are you never available? You don’t love me anymore, do you? Well fine! Be that way!

Hey Free for All, what do you think about anal?

Free for All, it’s supposed to maybe snow tonight and I was wondering, should I wear my pink, black, or brown Uggs?

Free for All, if you were a pissed-off sorority girl, where would you eat lunch? The Mad Greek. Get it?

To the guy who got thrown in the fountain: Happy birthday, man.

To the guy who said baseball should be Kansas’ sport: Until they can beat K-State, shut it.

Gas price was $2.51 yesterday, and $2.59 today before I went to class, and now it’s $2.69, so that’s pretty awesome.

Oh foxy Spanish teacher, why are you so caliente?

There’s a black Acura Skyline in the Park & Ride lot. I don’t even care what the guy looks like, because that car is so hot, the car alone makes me want to sleep him.

I think I just said Acura Skyline, but I’m pretty sure it’s an Infinity.

I love my teddy bear.

Free for All, I’ve been drunk for two straight weeks, is that bad?

I just saw the Chuck Norris Mt. Dew commercial. Oh my God.

Seriously, Free for All, you need to listen to this. I hate the KU Parking system. It sucks!

Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

/news/2007/apr/10/free_all/

Free For All: April 5, 2007

Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...

/news/2007/apr/05/free_all/

Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

/news/2007/apr/09/free_all/

Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

/news/2007/apr/02/free_all/

Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

/news/2007/mar/26/free_all/

Free for all: Oct. 17

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Free for All: April 13, 2007

I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...

/news/2007/apr/13/freeforall/

Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

/news/2007/sep/10/free_all/

Free For All: August 30, 2007

To the person who made the comment about the drumline: No sir, ...

/news/2007/aug/30/free_all_august_30_2007/

Free For All: September 7, 2007

My hands smell like syrup.

/news/2007/sep/07/free_all/

Free For All: November 13, 2007

A beer bong is the solitaire of drinking games.

/news/2007/nov/13/ffa/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free for All: March 8, 2007

My friend just told me I had DSL. That’s like the Internet, ...

/news/2007/mar/08/free_all/

Free for All: May 7, 2007

I got on the bus seat, out of the rain, and it ...

/news/2007/may/07/free_all/

Free For All: October 22, 2007

The other day I had a flat tire, and I had three ...

/news/2007/oct/22/ffa/

Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

/news/2007/sep/28/free_all_september_28_2007/

Free For All: March 12, 2007

The sun on my tummy feels so good!

/news/2007/mar/12/free_all/

Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

/news/2007/apr/30/free_all/

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Free For All: November 30, 2007

To the kid I copied off of: you are dead!

/news/2007/nov/30/free_all_november_30_2007/

Free For All: October 5, 2007

Why do we have a purple bra on the front page of ...

/news/2007/oct/05/free_all/

Free For All: March 7, 2007

March Madness, baby! Catch the fever.

/news/2007/mar/07/free_all/

Free For All: October 29, 2007

College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to ...

/news/2007/oct/29/ffa/

Free For All: October 25, 2007

If physics was a person, he would have no friends on Facebook.

/news/2007/oct/25/free_all_october_25_2007/

Free for All: March 5, 2007

Spring has come again, which means the start of another baseball season, ...

/news/2007/mar/05/free_all/

Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

/news/2007/sep/06/free_all_september_6_2007/

Free for All: April 24, 2007

It just wouldn’t be Wescoe beach without the crazy flier hander-outers and ...

/news/2007/apr/24/free_all/

Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

/news/2007/aug/27/Free_for_all/

Free for All: May 3, 2007

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

/news/2007/may/03/free_all/

Free For All: May 10, 2007

Stop. Hammertime.

/news/2007/may/10/free_all/

Free For All: August 28, 2007

Free for All, do a barrel roll.

/news/2007/aug/28/free_all_august_28_2007/

Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

/news/2007/aug/20/free_all_august_20_2007/

Free For All: April 16, 2007

I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...

/news/2007/apr/16/free_all/

Free For All: September 19, 2007

After all Britney has been through, leave Britney alone!

/news/2007/sep/19/free_all_september_19_2007/

Free For All: September 24, 2007

If a song is going to bleep out a word, they should ...

/news/2007/sep/24/free_all_september_24_2007/

Free for All: April 27, 2007

Can you tell me why I’ve been waiting in the rain for ...

/news/2007/apr/27/freeforall/

Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

/news/2007/apr/23/free_all/

Free For All: October 26, 2007

Guess what, I’m on my way to work right now, and I ...

/news/2007/oct/26/free_all_october_26_2007/

Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

/news/2007/oct/08/Free_For_All/

Free for All: April 12, 2007

I’m just holding a phone up to my face and talking to ...

/news/2007/apr/12/free_all/

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