Free for All: April 9, 2007

By KANSAN

Monday, April 9, 2007

We got high on cyanide in lab, today. I think something is wrong with this.

I’m Bob Huggins, and I like bourbon.

K-State sucks so bad, even Huggins wont stay more than a year.

United Students needs to realize that Facebook can’t vote for them in the elections.

Anybody who steals a line from a movie and puts it in the Free for All needs to be shot in the fucking head.

To the guy who said the Free for All was as long as his penis: That comment was as deep as my vagina.

Free for All, it’s just like me to get pregnant on the first time.

Man, Bob Huggins is an asshole.

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, a losing score already.

Hey Free for All, I said that Dennis the Young sounds “great.” G-R-E-A-T. Not “gay,” “great.” Thanks for making me look like a bigot.

This is the girl who ran into the pole, and so what? I know I’m really cool.

Free for All, have you ever wondered why your boyfriend always puts you in second place, but you still can’t break up with him?

Hey Free for All, what’s up bro? Have you ever been to meatspin.com?

Oh dear, sweet baby Jesus on rollerskates that don’t really fit him, but he looks so cute going down the driveway!

Hey Free for All, is it weird that my roommate just offered me ten dollars to jack him off?

Free for All, I just took a shit in a fraternity house, and it’s not flushing.

I’m in love with a Jimmy Johns man named Alex.

Three days ago it was eighty degrees out. Now it’s fucking twenty-five. Global Warming is bullshit. Al Gore, shut the hell up.

Hey Asshole, you’re supposed to stop at stop signs. That way you don’t hit pedestrians. Moron.

Nothing says “I don’t wash my vagina” quite like wearing a pair of Uggs.

If you’re just going to wear sweatpants to campus, then why on earth would you spend the time to curl your hair and put on makeup too? God, at least put on some jeans.

Neither Acura nor Infinity make Skylines. That would be Nissan. Girls don’t know anything about cars.

To the person who’s arguing that a roundabout is called a rotary: You’re a stupid moron. Stop looking at Wikipedia.

If it’s a Skyline, it’s made by Nissan, dumbshit.

Free for All, I hate the Hawk. I got roofied last night.

It’s a Nissan Skyline, you putz.

I’m from Arizona, and we do call them roundabouts in Arizona, so there.

Everyone in Australia says “roundabout,” so that’s the term I’m gonna stick with.

Jesus is being crucified in front of Wescoe. What an attention whore.

I just found a pink thong with skid marks next to Budig Hall. I think I just threw up.

Free For All: April 5, 2007

Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...

/news/2007/apr/05/free_all/

Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

/news/2007/apr/10/free_all/

Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

/news/2007/apr/06/freeforall/

Free For All: April 11, 2007

I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

/news/2007/apr/11/free_all/

Free For All: April 16, 2007

I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...

/news/2007/apr/16/free_all/

Free for All: February 26, 2007

"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...

/news/2007/feb/26/free_all/

Free for All: May 3, 2007

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

/news/2007/may/03/free_all/

Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

/news/2007/apr/30/free_all/

Free for all: Oct. 17

/news/2005/oct/17/free_all_oct_17/

Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

/news/2007/apr/23/free_all/

Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

/news/2007/oct/08/Free_For_All/

Free for All: August 16, 2007

The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...

/news/2007/aug/16/free_all/

Free for All: April 12, 2007

I’m just holding a phone up to my face and talking to ...

/news/2007/apr/12/free_all/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free For All: October 17, 2007

I just drowned a moth in my piss.

/news/2007/oct/17/free_all_october_17_2007/

Free For All: September 7, 2007

My hands smell like syrup.

/news/2007/sep/07/free_all/

Free for All: February 28, 2007

All the brain-droppings, unanswerable questions and witty observations you'd expect from the ...

/news/2007/feb/28/free_all/

Free for All: February 1

/news/2006/feb/01/free_all_february_1/

Free For All: April 25, 2007

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar!

/news/2007/apr/25/free_all/

Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

/news/2007/mar/13/free_all/

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Free for All: Dec. 11, 2006

Here is your Finals Free for All.

/news/2006/dec/11/free_all_dec_11_2006/

Free For All: March 9, 2006

/news/2006/mar/09/free/

Free for All: November 9, 2007

Join the Todd Reesing For Heisman group on facebook

/news/2007/nov/09/free_all_november_9_2007/

Free For All: August 17, 2007

Free for All, I just got up at seven o’clock to go ...

/news/2007/aug/17/free_all_august_17_2007/

Free for All: April 3, 2007

Dear Free for All, how do you cook panda meat? I just ...

/news/2007/apr/03/free_all/

Free for All: August 23, 2007

Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.

/news/2007/aug/23/free_all_august_23_2007/

Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

/news/2007/apr/02/free_all/

Free For All: April 19, 2007

Why do people wear sunglasses on cloudy days?

/news/2007/apr/19/free_all/

Free for All: March 6, 2007

There’s a fire drill, and I’m hiding in the closet. Shh, don’t ...

/news/2007/mar/06/free_all/

Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

/news/2007/aug/27/Free_for_all/

Free For All: March 16, 2007

We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

/news/2007/mar/16/freeforall/

Free for All: September 11, 2007

You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...

/news/2007/sep/11/free_all_september_11_2007/

Free for All: September 21, 2007

Community college sucks. I miss you, Free for All.

/news/2007/sep/21/free_all_september_21_2007/

Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

/news/2007/mar/26/free_all/

Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

/news/2007/aug/20/free_all_august_20_2007/

Free For All: August 28, 2007

Free for All, do a barrel roll.

/news/2007/aug/28/free_all_august_28_2007/

Free For All: October 10, 2007

Looks like someone forgot their power towel.

/news/2007/oct/10/ffa/

Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

/news/2007/aug/24/free_all_august_24_2007/

Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.

Sign in to comment

Or login with:

OpenID