Thursday, April 12, 2007
I’ve had a crush on this guy who works at a bank for a while and I’ve been hoping he’ll ask me out. I’ve been going to the bank a bit and talking to him. I make sure I dress nicely and act friendly, and I try to suggest that we hang out sometime. But I haven’t gotten anywhere. Is there something I’m not doing? — Amber, freshman
Amber, you should try giving up. You’ve probably scared the guy more than a bank robber would if he came in to “talk” to him.
You say you dress up, which probably means you wear 10-inch heels and a mini-skirt when you go in. You’re trying too hard, and you come off as silly and desperate. You say you’ve been going in “a bit,” which probably means you’ve been withdrawing more money than he’s been gaining interest in you. You’ve “suggested” hanging out; I hope you don’t mean you gave him your number, a date and a time.
Take a hint from He’s Just Not That Into You: he’s just not that into you! You’ve gone in there, you’ve displayed interest, you’ve been friendly, you’ve even suggested hanging out. He hasn’t taken you up on that offer. If he were interested, he would have jumped at the hints or not-so-subtle suggestions. If he were into you, he would have wanted to know when and where you wanted to hang out.
Continue to be friendly, but if he wants, he’ll pursue you. If you’re not comfortable with this, you could hold a gun to his head and ask him to give you all his money... and his number... then you can use that as your one phone call from prison.
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My boyfriend farts around me all the time. I feel like he must take me for granted. why else would he do that around me? Shouldn’t he be trying to impress me? It’s disgusting! — Kari, senior
Men have never been fans of perfume, scented lotions or aromatherapy candles, but when it comes to their own organically produced scents, they sure do like to douse themselves — and the world — in the stench. But don’t worry, it just means he loves you. He finally feels comfortable enough with you to truly “let go.” Don’t look at it as the spark dying — look at this as growing intimacy.
I wouldn’t reciprocate with your own signature scent. It’s a horrible double standard, but most men — never totally comfortable with true intimacy — have trouble stomaching their lady’s personal perfume. If you find this terribly upsetting, find a guy who’s as passionate about the Women’s Revolution as you are. If this turns out to be too much of a struggle, just hold it in and steer clear of beans and broccoli.
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