Free for All: April 12, 2007

By KANSAN

Thursday, April 12, 2007

This is Sparta!

You see, Julian Wright? You see what happens when you tell us you’re going to stay and you don’t? You get weather like this. Just kidding. I love you, Julian.

I opened up the Free for All today, and it was really huge, and I got excited until I realized that half of it was some idiot singing about the states.

Free for All, can you please tell my friend Nate that Everybody Loves Raymond is the worst show ever, and he is awful at Super Smash Brothers?

Hey JuJu, I knew I always liked Brandon Rush better.

Wang Chung is the name of the band that made the song “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.” As far as the deeper meaning of “wang chung.” wow man. Dude. We really don’t have time for that.

To the kid who doesn’t love Raymond: I don’t love you.

I swear to God I just saw a 75 year old woman doing a paper route.

Dear Mitch, you dressed up as a Viking today, and I missed it. Could you please do it again at your closest convenience? Thank you.

Julian, I thought you said you were staying? Why did you pull a Roy Williams on us? Oh well. Good luck with your future. I still love you.

What the hell is Delta Force?

Darnell Jackson could beat the shit out of Chuck Norris.

I’m voting for Delta Force tomorrow, because they have a Greek letter in them.

Free for All, when are you going to get stinkin’ text messaging?

Free for All, I just got a thirty-five dollar parking ticket for parking too close to a dumpster.

You’re cute. Let’s kiss.

When was the first Free for All published?

Whoever said Chris deserves to be fired can stick their opinion in my hash-hole.

Lood is spelled L-O-O-D.

Free for All, my favorite band isn’t answering the phone, and you’re kind of a big deal, so you think you could work something out for me? Appreciate it, thanks.

Chris pulled the greatest prank in the history of mankind and should be given a medal and a parade.

I’m going to vote for Student Rights and Delta Force, because none of their candidates sexually harass their other candidates.

Hey Free for All, I just got all up in your afternoon! Woo!

Okay, I messed up my last message, so this one is “Hey Free for-”(laughing followed by someone in the background shouting “You ruined it!”).

Hey Free for All, I just got all up in your afternoon, boy-ee!

My bus driver just ran into a pedestrian crossing sign. I’m scared.

When the student senate people hand me their fliers, it’s like their saying “Here, you throw this away.”

Life is good again, Free for All. The hot dog vendor is back.

(Crying) I’ve been violated by so many student senate coalitions today, I think my butt hurts.

I’m just holding a phone up to my face and talking to you, Free for All, in order to avoid the political parties on Wescoe beach.

The Kansan does print obscene statements. If anyone had called and called Mohammed an attention whore, they wouldn’t have printed it.

Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

/news/2007/apr/10/free_all/

Free For All: April 11, 2007

I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

/news/2007/apr/11/free_all/

Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

/news/2007/apr/23/free_all/

Free For All: April 5, 2007

Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...

/news/2007/apr/05/free_all/

Free for all: Oct. 17

/news/2005/oct/17/free_all_oct_17/

Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

/news/2007/apr/02/free_all/

Free For All: March 9, 2006

/news/2006/mar/09/free/

Free For All: March 16, 2007

We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

/news/2007/mar/16/freeforall/

Free for All: April 13, 2007

I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...

/news/2007/apr/13/freeforall/

Free for All: May 3, 2007

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

/news/2007/may/03/free_all/

Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

/news/2007/apr/09/free_all/

Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

/news/2007/aug/24/free_all_august_24_2007/

Free for All: August 16, 2007

The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...

/news/2007/aug/16/free_all/

Free For All: April 19, 2007

Why do people wear sunglasses on cloudy days?

/news/2007/apr/19/free_all/

Free for All: Dec. 11, 2006

Here is your Finals Free for All.

/news/2006/dec/11/free_all_dec_11_2006/

Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

/news/2007/apr/06/freeforall/

Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

/news/2007/mar/13/free_all/

Free for All: April 3, 2007

Dear Free for All, how do you cook panda meat? I just ...

/news/2007/apr/03/free_all/

Free For All: April 25, 2007

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar!

/news/2007/apr/25/free_all/

Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

/news/2007/apr/30/free_all/

Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

/news/2007/sep/28/free_all_september_28_2007/

Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

/news/2007/mar/26/free_all/

Free For All: October 29, 2007

College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to ...

/news/2007/oct/29/ffa/

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Free For All: August 17, 2007

Free for All, I just got up at seven o’clock to go ...

/news/2007/aug/17/free_all_august_17_2007/

Free for All: March 6, 2007

There’s a fire drill, and I’m hiding in the closet. Shh, don’t ...

/news/2007/mar/06/free_all/

Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

/news/2007/aug/20/free_all_august_20_2007/

Free For All: September 25, 2007

This is your voice. What do you think of it?

/news/2007/sep/25/free_all_september_25_2007/

Free For All: April 16, 2007

I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...

/news/2007/apr/16/free_all/

Free for All: February 1

/news/2006/feb/01/free_all_february_1/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Free For All: March 12, 2007

The sun on my tummy feels so good!

/news/2007/mar/12/free_all/

Free For All: April 4, 2007

Whoever is flying the kite in front of Templin: You’re adorable.

/news/2007/apr/04/free_all/

Free for All: November 9, 2007

Join the Todd Reesing For Heisman group on facebook

/news/2007/nov/09/free_all_november_9_2007/

Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

/news/2007/sep/10/free_all/

Free for All: September 11, 2007

You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...

/news/2007/sep/11/free_all_september_11_2007/

Free for All: August 23, 2007

Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.

/news/2007/aug/23/free_all_august_23_2007/

Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

/news/2007/oct/08/Free_For_All/

Free For All: October 10, 2007

Looks like someone forgot their power towel.

/news/2007/oct/10/ffa/

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