Thursday, April 19, 2007
I asked a girl for her number last week. she told me she has a boyfriend, but I think she might have been lying to me just because she wasn’t interested. Is there any way I can find out? Should I confront her? — Justin, Sophomore
Whoa! Confront her about it? Did she dis your mama or just tell you she has a boyfriend (which may or may not be true)? Having a talk with her about it will only make you the creepy guy who won’t leave her alone instead of the sweet guy who made her day and flattered her by showing interest. Whether she lied to you or not, she is not interested. So it doesn’t matter whether she has a boyfriend — either way, you’re not getting her number. Be thankful she let you down easy and don’t take the rejection personally. She doesn’t even know you, so it’s not really you she’s rejecting (this might be difficult to grasp, but it’s true). Go find another girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend (real or pretend) to put in your phone.
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My best friend is a girl who’s still a virgin. It seems to me like she has no sexual drive whatsoever, but when I tell her this she just says she’s waiting for the right person and the right time. I feel like she’s missing out. I’m starting to wonder if she’s maybe even asexual or something. Is that possible? — Steve, Junior
I’m a little confused. Are you saying you want to bang your best friend? Or are you genuinely concerned for her sexual liberation and enjoyment of life’s pleasures? The “problem” might simply be that she’s female and thinks differently than you. I don’t mean to stereotype here, as there are people of both genders who view sex in all sorts of ways, but generally speaking, women find it harder to engage in sexual acts unless they are fully and emotionally engaged in a relationship. A woman has a better sexual experience if she feels she’s emotionally connected to her partner and that by having sex she is taking the relationship to a new emotional level. This requires a lot of trust and usually time. A lot of women end up feeling used if they don’t allow a chance for enough emotional growth.
So this girl is probably telling the truth when she says she’s just waiting for the right guy and the right time. This doesn’t mean she’s sexually inhibited. She probably has quite an active sex life in her mind and when she’s alone in her room at night.
But then again, maybe she is just asexual.
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