Thursday, April 26, 2007
My girlfriend wants to have a key to my place, but I don’t see why she needs one. She told me it’d be a lot easier that way, since she spends so much time at my place and some of her stuff is there, too. Is this really that big of a deal? — Clark, Senior
For some, a key to your place symbolizes a key to your heart. The huge ordeal probably isn’t as much about having the key as it is about the fact that you won’t let her have it. She probably feels you aren’t totally letting her into your life.
So do some thinking — why don’t want to let her in? Is it that you just don’t want someone else having a key to your place or is it an emotional issue? Are you afraid of commitment? Why? Are you afraid of committing to her? Or maybe you just don’t like giving out keys because you never get them back.
Explain that to her and tell her you aren’t married and you like that you have your place and she has hers. You’re together when you want to be and apart when you want to be. And this way you never have to worry about her trashing your place if you break up, or having to pay a locksmith to prevent that from happening. If she doesn’t understand the terms or needs more than that, she’s free to leave. And you can lock the door behind her.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we recently decided to move in together. our friends think it’s a bad idea. What do you think? — Claire, Sophomore
If you have a place to go when this blows up in your face, then you’re welcome to try it. I’m not saying this hasn’t worked for some couple somewhere, but if you’ve only known him a few months, you should really spend more time getting to know him (from your separate places) before making such a huge step. If your relationship proves strong enough to stand the test of time and you reach a point when moving in together seems like the natural next step, then go for it (I’m of the opinion that living together before marriage often does more harm than good).
Enjoy the honeymoon stage while you can. Living apart allows you to get excited to see each other and think about each other when you’re not together. And there are no financial issues or dirty dishes or laundry to wash.
It sounds like you’re moving really fast, pun intended. I realize you might be crazy about each other right now, but remember that the flame that burns twice as brightly burns half as long. Wait a little longer and you could set the house on fire (in the good way).
Bitch and Moan: Oct. 26, 2006
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Bitch & Moan
I remember back in the day when Bitch and Moan was fun to read... back when Chris did it when it first started... funny is the way to go! No one really cares what some random girl really thinks about relationships...
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Bingo! How old is this chick and what qualifies her as a "sex therapist"? Nothing like being preached to by an older sister, and a boring one at that.
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