The Secret to Happiness

Tibetan author Mingyur Rinpoche said the key to quieting the "talkative monkey mind" is meditation and concentration.

Tibetan Buddhist author Mingyur Rinpoche said that through the recognition of self-perception and its negative effects, anyone could liberate themselves from suffering and unlock the secrets of happiness. He spoke at a free lecture Friday night in the Kansas Union.

The lecture, which discussed the subject of his book, “The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Science and Secret of Happiness,” was sponsored by the Center for East Asian Studies.

He began the lecture in Tibetan, just so the audience could “hear what it sounded like.” However, after a minute of Tibetan, Rinpoche continued in English, occasionally stopping for word clarification from a translator.

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When I wake up, I’m calm, but at night the whole world starts to fall apart. It all caves in.

-Leigh Ann Livingston, Lawrence graduate student

Rinpoche said to achieve happiness, people needed to stop listening to their “monkey mind.” He said everyone had self-created suffering because of their monkey mind, which was constantly talking and telling them what to think. He described someone looking into a mirror, complaining of differing cheek sizes, crooked nose and a forehead pimple.

“You say to yourself, ‘What should I do? I’m ugly,’” Rinpoche said. “And your neurons say, ‘Yes, you’re ugly.’ And the other neurons in your brain all agree, ‘We think you’re ugly too.’”

He said these feelings increased as each week passed, and people became more and more self-conscious about their flaws, which affected their studies, relationships, actions, fears, thinking and appearance. The monkey mind changes our perception of ourselves, making us unhappy.

“If you recognized your own perception, that is the best way to liberate yourself from this suffering,” Rinpoche said.

To counteract this talkative monkey mind, Rinpoche suggested meditation exercises and concentration.

Rinpoche explained his first experience with meditation and how it balanced his own monkey mind. He said that he started having panic attacks when he was 6 years old. On a three-year retreat in India as a teenager, his panic attacks worsened, and he tried meditation to battle them.

“I looked at panic face-to-face, and used that image for my meditation,” Rinpoche said.

Rinpoche said that after recognizing his panic and addressing it through concentration, he had inner peace and a stable mind. He said we should not confront our negative emotions, but change our perception of them through recognition.

Audience member Leigh Ann Livingston, Lawrence graduate student, said she had been non-spiritually meditating since 1988. But when she started experiencing panic attacks in 2002, meditation helped her overcome them like Rinpoche had.

She said she experienced panic attacks because she would feel overwhelmed with her family, her house, her job and maintaining success in all of these areas.

“When I wake up, I’m calm,” Livingston said. “But at night the whole world starts to fall apart. It all caves in.”

She said that before she went to bed it negatively affected her to think of solutions to her problems, or to try to find answers. Instead, she said she allowed herself to say, ‘I’m okay, I’m experiencing panic right now.’ If she recognizes the problem instead of trying to fight it, she becomes calm.

“This happens to a lot of people,” Livingston said. “We want control. Fear isn’t something that we are comfortable with. We can all learn to have this calm abiding in the face of uncertainty.”

In times of extreme happiness or extreme suffering, Livingston said those emotions are short-lived, and people shouldn’t run toward the emotion.

“Whichever of the two occurs, be patient,” Livingston said.

Kansan staff writer Danae DeShazer can be contacted at ddeshazer@kansan.com.

— Edited by Carissa Pedigo

 

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