Free for All: August 23, 2007

By KANSAN

Thursday, August 23, 2007

New rule: Greek girls can only wear one piece of clothing advertising their sorority.

Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.

I’m a boy who is also desperate as hell. I’m available Friday night.

Kerry Meier and K-State support terrorism.

I’m as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.

Damn it, I just got sour cream on my stick. No, really. Eating Taco Bell while you drive stick shift is hard.

Free for All, I go to Kansas State University, and I just wanted to say that I read the Free for All every day, and I really like it.

I really believe that the Parking Department supports terrorism.

They say one in four Americans didn’t read a book last year. I think most of them were college freshmen.

If I wore boxers, they would be backwards.

Guess what? Your Facebook application is not there. I’ve looked for it. It does not exist. I’ve searched under “applications”. You need to fix that shit.

I didn’t even break a sweat on the way to class today! Yay!

Free for All, I just wanted to apologize for yelling at you last night. I didn’t really mean all that stuff I said. I’m sorry. Let’s hug it out.

My roommate might possibly be Satan.

I just got done peeing in the nude, and there was a spider on the toilet roll, and I jumped and peed on my face a little bit.

I just made it in the UDK Free for All two days in a row. Boo-ya!

Hey Free for All, lose the editor’s notes. They’re funnier without it.

Balls, balls, balls, penis, penis, balls, balls.

To the girl who wrote the editorial in the Kansan about bar fights: I can tell you what happened that caused your fight. It’s called alcohol! Drunk people are stupid. You didn’t realize this?

With all the squirrels on campus, have you ever seen one take a poop?

Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry!

Free For All: April 5, 2007

Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...

/news/2007/apr/05/free_all/

Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

/news/2007/mar/26/free_all/

Free for All: May 3, 2007

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

/news/2007/may/03/free_all/

Free For All: August 30, 2007

To the person who made the comment about the drumline: No sir, ...

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Free For All: August 17, 2007

Free for All, I just got up at seven o’clock to go ...

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Free For All: August 22, 2007

Thank God someone is standing up for “manorexics.”

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Free For All: April 20, 2007

I just drove by Burger King, and I saw Julian Wright with ...

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Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

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Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

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Free for All: April 24, 2007

It just wouldn’t be Wescoe beach without the crazy flier hander-outers and ...

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Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

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Free for All: March 29, 2007

I’m a white guy and I have spinning tires. However, my rims ...

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Free for All: September 5, 2007

So Free For All, my roommates and I don’t know how to ...

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Free for All: September 11, 2007

You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...

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Free for all: Oct. 17

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Free for All: May 4, 2007

I found a hat that says "Jawhawk." What does that mean?

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Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

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Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

/news/2007/sep/06/free_all_september_6_2007/

Free for All: May 7, 2007

I got on the bus seat, out of the rain, and it ...

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Free For All: Sept. 20, 2007

Finally, someone else realizes that Crocs are the root of all evil.

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Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

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Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

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Free For All: October 25, 2007

If physics was a person, he would have no friends on Facebook.

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Letter to the Editor: Understanding modern terrorism

A reader weighs in on foreign policy.

/news/2009/nov/03/letter-editor-understanding-modern-terrorism/

Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

/news/2007/sep/10/free_all/

Free For All: October 10, 2007

Looks like someone forgot their power towel.

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Free For All: April 16, 2007

I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...

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Free For All: September 4, 2007

It’d be cool if cops drove minivans.

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Free For All: March 27, 2007

I just saw a white guy with spinning tires. Is that even ...

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Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

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Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

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Free For All: March 16, 2007

We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

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Free for All: April 26, 2007

Why do I have to pay the same amount to get taught ...

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Free For All: November 13, 2007

A beer bong is the solitaire of drinking games.

/news/2007/nov/13/ffa/

Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

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Free For All: September 7, 2007

My hands smell like syrup.

/news/2007/sep/07/free_all/

Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Free For All: October 1, 2007

Let me reiterate, the $500 ResNet fee is ridiculous.

/news/2007/oct/01/Free_For_All/

Free For All: April 11, 2007

I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

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Free For All: September 19, 2007

After all Britney has been through, leave Britney alone!

/news/2007/sep/19/free_all_september_19_2007/

Free for All: August 23, 2007

Sophomores that chide freshmen on Free For All did the same things last year. The one thing you both have in common is you are not Greek.

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