Free For All: August 28, 2007

By KANSAN

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I ate his liver with a nice Chianti and some fava beans.

It puts the lotion on its skin.

Even 46 year olds think Free for All is hip.

Hey Free for All, can you please tell the frat boys that it’s not time to go sailing, and they should start dressing in regular clothes? Thanks, you’re the best.

My boss just showed me a video of somebody taking a dump in another person’s mouth. What’s this world coming to?

I’d pee in her butt.

I just wanted to let everyone know that my coworker found a bat in her pants. How does that happen?

Why do residents of Jayhawk Towers not understand the concept of tipping a delivery driver?

I have a new favorite word, Free for All. It’s called “sorostitute.”

I lost my mp3 player slash jump drive in the Park & Ride parking lot. If you find it, please send it to the lost and found. I miss it.

Hey Free for All, my girlfriend just asked if we were boning. If she asks you, I told her “no.”

Girls, us guys would ask you on dates, but we fear rejections. So, maybe you should like, not reject us. That was a really dumb comment. Please don’t print that. Please.

Girls, there are two basic reasons why dudes don’t date. Number one, we don’t want to pay for all the shit. Two, is that we fear rejection. Umm, this is also a really dumb comment. Don’t print it.

To the guy who sits next to me in Math: If I buy you some Axe body spray will you use it? Either that or stop taking smoke breaks before class. Close quarters and stinky people don’t mix.

I have been answering the Kansan Trivia Questions for quite some time now, will you please at least acknowledge the winner each week so I can feel justified with thinking I might win? Thank you very much.

To the person who asked about the buses..two words...Bus Map! But FYI Campus Express buses go straight up to Daisy Hill. People like you make Freshman look incompetent.

Free for All, do a barrel roll.

No barrel rolls: The Free for All is not the Subservient Chicken.

Guess what? You girls who wear leggings as pants STILL are nasty. Yea, nothing about that has changed from last year, so please stop wearing them.

Hey Kansas, learn how to spell bizarre!

Free for All: August 16, 2007

The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...

/news/2007/aug/16/free_all/

Wescoe Wit

/news/2008/sep/25/wesc/

Wescoe Wit

Lol.

/news/2010/aug/26/wescoe-wit/

Wescoe Wit

/news/2008/nov/06/wescoe_wit/

Free for All: February 28, 2007

All the brain-droppings, unanswerable questions and witty observations you'd expect from the ...

/news/2007/feb/28/free_all/

Free For All: March 9, 2006

/news/2006/mar/09/free/

Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Wescoe wit

Overheard on campus

/news/2009/sep/03/wescoewit/

Wescoe Wit

Lol.

/news/2012/may/02/wescoe-wit/

Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

/news/2007/apr/23/free_all/

Wescoe wit

Heard on campus.

/news/2009/oct/22/wescoe-wit/

Wescoe wit

Lol.

/news/2010/may/06/wescoe-wit/

Free For All: October 26, 2007

Guess what, I’m on my way to work right now, and I ...

/news/2007/oct/26/free_all_october_26_2007/

Wescoe wit

Heard on campus.

/news/2009/nov/12/wescoe-wit/

Free For All: April 11, 2007

I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

/news/2007/apr/11/free_all/

Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

/news/2007/apr/30/free_all/

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Wescoe wit

/news/2008/sep/11/wescoe_wit/

Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

/news/2007/sep/06/free_all_september_6_2007/

Free for all: Oct. 17

/news/2005/oct/17/free_all_oct_17/

Wescoe wit

Lol.

/news/2010/apr/29/wescoe-wit/

Free for All: September 21, 2007

Community college sucks. I miss you, Free for All.

/news/2007/sep/21/free_all_september_21_2007/

Free for All: September 11, 2007

You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...

/news/2007/sep/11/free_all_september_11_2007/

Wescoe wit

Lol.

/news/2010/sep/23/wescoe-wit/

Free for All: April 3, 2007

Dear Free for All, how do you cook panda meat? I just ...

/news/2007/apr/03/free_all/

Wescoe wit

Overheard around campus.

/news/2009/dec/10/wescoe-wit/

Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

/news/2007/sep/28/free_all_september_28_2007/

Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

/news/2007/mar/13/free_all/

Free For All: March 12, 2007

The sun on my tummy feels so good!

/news/2007/mar/12/free_all/

Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

/news/2007/aug/24/free_all_august_24_2007/

Wescoe wit

Lol.

/news/2010/mar/04/wescoe-wit/

Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

/news/2007/aug/27/Free_for_all/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free For All: April 16, 2007

I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...

/news/2007/apr/16/free_all/

Free for All: March 5, 2007

Spring has come again, which means the start of another baseball season, ...

/news/2007/mar/05/free_all/

Free for All: April 17, 2007

I swear, it’s like 7th Street is just one big pot hole. ...

/news/2007/apr/17/free_all/

wescoe wit

/news/2008/oct/09/wes/

wescoe wit

/news/2008/aug/28/wescoe_wit/

Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

/news/2007/apr/09/free_all/

Free for All: February 27, 2007

To the guy in Ellsworth who pooped in my bed: You’d better ...

/news/2007/feb/27/free_all/