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Breckunitch: Felony Football team comprised

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By Kelly Breckunitch

Thursday, August 30, 2007

A disturbing trend has escalated over the past years. A growing number of professional and college football players have been convicted or charged with felonies. If this behavior continues, Hollywood could remake “The Longest Yard” again and be able to field a professional football team. Here are the top players who qualify for that squad.

Quarterback­—With the events that have taken place over the summer and into the NFL preseason, Michael Vick is a lock for quarterback. His guilty plea to the dog-fighting charges will likely lead to at least a year in prison and a guaranteed spot on this football team of felons.

Running back—Ricky Williams is an anomaly. He violated the NFL’s substance abuse policy four times while he was in Miami after he led the league in rushing in 2002. He retired and then tried to play in the Canadian Football League. Williams came back to the Dolphins last season only to be suspended. He will not be back with the Dolphins but will always have a spot on this troubled squad, or with the Bengals.

Fullback­—According to espn.com, in 2002, Najeh Davenport was charged with a second-degree felony count of burglary and a misdemeanor count of criminal mischief after he broke into a college dormitory and defecated in a woman’s closet. Davenport pleaded not guilty, according to espn.com. These charges follow players for the rest of their careers, which makes Davenport a candidate for this team.

Wide receiver­—The Carolina Panthers a both had good starts in their franchise histories. But the Rae Carruth scandal harmed the Panther image. According to about.com, Carruth was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder. He also shot into an occupied vehicle and used an instrument to destroy an unborn child. Right now, he is serving his 19 to 23 year sentence, according to courtTV.com. His spot on this squad is secure.

Tight End—According the thenewstribune.com, Jerramy Stevens was arrested in March on drunken driving and marijuana charges. This incident and a history of character problems on the field open up a starting tight end spot on the squad of felons.

Offensive Line—Don Yeager wrote in the book “Pros and Cons: The Criminals who Play in the NFL” that when Ryan Tucker was drafted by the St. Louis Rams he was awaiting trial for assault. Yeager said after the incident Tucker left his victim paralyzed and brain-damaged. When coach Dick Vermeil was asked about the incident he replied, “He can finish a fight. That’s a positive.” Yes, a positive way to make it onto this squad of criminals.

Defensive Line­—According to espn.com, Tank Johnson spent two months in jail after violating probation on gun charges. This prompted commissioner Roger Goodell to suspend Johnson for eight games of the 2007 season. He’ll have plenty of time to play with these troubled players now.

Linebacker—According to espn.com, Odell Thurman was initially supposed to be suspended for four games after missing a scheduled drug screening. That suspension changed when he was arrested on DUI charges September 26, 2006, reported espn.com. Thurman applied for reinstatement for the upcoming season but was denied. He won’t be denied on this team.

Cornerback—This position goes without saying. Pacman Jones is the obvious choice. His incident in Las Vegas is just the tip of the iceberg for why Roger Goodell suspended him for the season. According to espn.com, he was arrested before his rookie season even began when he was charged with assault and felony vandalism. Jones can “make it rain” with Vick and company on this team.

Safety­—The San Diego Chargers can take pleasure in the fact that they have the best player in the National Football League. According to a 2006 story in the Washington Post, Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was arrested on charges of transporting and possessing a controlled substance. Kiel was shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas, according to the story. A drug operation is a definite way to get a spot on this team.

Punter­—The only college player on this team is the punter. According to usatoday.com, Mitch Cozad was charged with attempted first-degree murder and second-degree assault for trying to injure the Northern Colorado first-string punter Rafael Mendoza. Cozed wanted his starting spot. This is possibly the most bizarre sports-related crime ever.

Kicker—Bar fights are far too common among NFL players, but who would expect a kicker to be involved in a bar brawl? According to yahoo.com, Lawrence Tynes was charged with breaking a bouncer’s nose. The criminal team wouldn’t be complete without a kicker.

It is sad to see professional and college players resorting to such behavior. Roger Goodell is on the right track to cleaning up the NFL, and hopefully the players will start to clean up their act.

­— Edited by Rachael Gray

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