Thursday, March 1, 2007
1. The Girl Scouts announce that all of their cookies will now be trans-fat free. The actual girl scouts may still be a little chubby, though.
2. Martin Scorsese’s crime drama The Departed wins Best Picture at the 79th annual Academy Awards. Meanwhile, the top-rated video on YouTube continues to be “He Farted,” a 30-second montage of memorable movie flatulence.
3. Researchers discover that chimps in Senegal have learned to use spears while hunting; this is the first time that such an advanced tool has been used by chimps. The researchers are ignoring the team of chimps that writes the episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, saying that there’s no evidence of intelligence in the crude, ape-produced scripts.
4. Kevin federline visits his estranged wife, Britney Spears, in Rehab. Federline was disappointed, however, upon learning that the janitor job opening had already been filled.
5. Reports suggest Britney spears shaved her head after estranged husband kevin federline threatened to turn in her hair for a drug test. This discounts my theory that Brit was just trying to make the drapes match the carpet.
6. A new study reveals that circumcised men are much less likely to contract HIV from an infected sexual partner.However, doctors stress that even circumcised men should avoid sexual contact with Paris Hilton, even if she says she’ll let you film it.
7. Fishermen in New Zealand catch a very rare colossal squid believed to be the largest specimen ever landed. The finding eclipses the previous largest specimen, which was extracted from Paris Hilton’s genitals during her last visit to the gyno.
8. the ABC hit Grey’s Anatomy is exploring the possibility of creating a spin-off series featuring actress Kate Walsh, who plays neo-natal surgeon Addison Shepherd. Meanwhile, the very idea of a Grey’s Anatomy spin-off has Hawk Topics writer Chris Raine exploring the possibility of joining Meredith Grey in the afterlife by repeatedly hitting himself in the head with his television remote.
9. Titanic director James Cameron claims to have found the tomb and remains of Jesus Christ.Cameron plans to produce a film based on the findings, in which an elderly Mary Magdalene recounts her steamy love affair with the Christian Lord and Savior shortly before his crucifixion.
10. XM Radio and Sirius announce that they will combine to form one company. Now subscribers can get even more stations they’ll never listen to.
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News you can use
Hawk Topics
News you can use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawktopics
News you can use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawktopics
News you can use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hawk topics
News you can use
Holopirek: Who cares about Britney Spears?
Britney and Anna are old news. The Media needs to inform their ...
9/20/07 Hawk Topics
News you can use
Mangiaracina: Idea of American dream has failed
The irony is that Spears has attained the fame, but it has ...
Wescoe Wit
Hawk Topics
Raine Reviews: News You Can Use
Hudson: New episodes a must
Writer’s strike threatens thwarts entertainment value.
Gill's career by the numbers
A look back at Turner Gill's coaching career.
Inside the women's basketball tournament selection
At 6:31 p.m. March 12, the Kansas women’s team went from silence ...
Mersmann: Bad parodies hurt U.S. culture
Movies often misinterpret the genre they are trying to mock.
KU Bucket List
Twenty things to do before you leave KU
Predictions: Women’s Big 12 Awards, Tournament winner
Taylor Bern and Andrew Wiebe present some post-season ideas.
Editorial: Health education reduced to Paris Hilton
"What 16-year-old is going to focus on the cognitive impairment of alcohol ...
What it takes to get home
Kansan writer B.J. Rains follows the KU women’s basketball team as they ...
Fans purchase 90s pop stars’ new albums
After the debut of Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys’ new albums, ...
Bitch and Moan: Oct. 26, 2006
You've got questions about sex, Chris and Niloofar have answers.
Bitch & Moan: Dec. 7, 2006
You got questions about your relationship? We have the answers.
Celebritweets: Kathy Griffin
Some musings about SVU and the new year.
Wescoe wit
Lol.
Track teams start competition in New York
The Kansas men's and women's track teams will be competing against the ...
In the life of ... a yoga ...
Living vicariously through others is OK with us.
Hawk topics
News you can use
SAVE the date: Skip dinner and a ...
Skip dinner and a movie and do date night right.
Pivot on the Hill
James Lipton, eat your heart out.
Big 12 Women's Basketball Power Rankings
Andrew Wiebe evaluates the Big 12's women's basketball teams
Blue tops white in spring game
April is football season in Lawrence as Kansas takes the field for ...
Wescoe Wit
Overheard any Wescoe witticisms? Become a fan on Facebook and your post ...
Minster: The summer that (sort of) was
How do you liven up up a summer spent in calculus class? ...
She Rocks
For years, women were excluded from the boys-only rock ‘n’ roll club. ...
Column: Ranking this season’s bowl games
Take a look at Kory Carpenter’s ranking of this winter’s college football’s ...
From left: Kimberlee Hinkle, Libby Johnson and Hannah ...
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Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
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Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
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Armed robbers continue to threaten.
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Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
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