Minster: Web not always a great source of news

Thursday, March 1, 2007

The printed newspaper, what’s good about it these days? It’s the preferred method of fish wrapping, and it can function as the poor man’s wrapping paper. But when it comes to getting up-to-date information the printed newspaper is, as the kids say these days, broke and busted.

Internet news is the new hotness. In today’s action-packed world, up-to-the-minute news reports are a necessity. Just the other day Britney Spears checked into and then back out of rehab before the printed newspaper could be bothered to get my fingers inky.

nutgraf

Why read what presidential candidates have to say about issues when you can read what Jay Leno and David Letterman have to say about presidential candidates?

As any talk show pundit will yell at you, the American economy has entered the Information Age, meaning pornography is more valuable than ever before. Plans to list Internet porn providers on the NASDAQ were scrapped when it became apparent there was no computer powerful enough to handle the trading volume expected.

The Internet has at least a dozen non-porn related uses, and one of them is news. Even the University Daily Kansan has a Web site, where my disturbing black-and-white mug shot is rendered in all its grotesque full-color glory.

Of course, the proliferation of Internet news sites has led to a new, looser definition of news. I’ve seen summaries of “American Idol,” “Lost” and “Desperate Housewives” presented as news. I’ve seen analysis of a hypothetical presidential election match-up between Barrack Obama and Megatron, even though the election is 20 months away and Megatron isn’t even constitutionally eligible, as he is a native of Cybertron.

News agencies are not in business to lose money. Like any other industry, they see something that sells and they market it to death. Right now what sells is “news lite,” a brand of information that fills the head without requiring any actual thinking.

Why read what presidential candidates have to say about issues when you can read what Jay Leno and David Letterman have to say about presidential candidates? In the Information Age the following qualifies as news:

George W. Bush is stupid.

Hillary Clinton is a woman.

Barrack Obama is black.

Iraq is Vietnam.

Britney Spears is bald.

Gasoline is expensive.

I could go on all day writing tomorrow’s news headlines, but I’ve got more pressing concerns. I found an “Amazing Race” article with a discussion section and I want to post a bunch of uninformed opinions. Then I’ll do some serious research on an Internet news site that summarizes the platforms of the Decepticon and Autobot parties. In this election, my future is at stake.

Minster is a Lawrence junior in economics.

Durbin: The truth is missing

Media should rely on concrete facts, not unfounded opinions.

/news/2008/jan/31/durbin/

Hawktopics

News you can use

/news/2007/nov/01/hawktopics/

Boultinghouse: Reading news online is different

The Internet has multimedia features, but holding a newspaper still gives the ...

/news/2009/sep/30/boultinghouse_reading_news_online_different/

Boultinghouse: reading news online not the same

The Internet has multimedia features, but holding a newspaper still gives the ...

/news/2009/sep/23/boultinghouse_reading_news_online_not_same/

Morning Brew: Internet steals readers

A new ESPN Web site replaces the traditional newspaper for some sports ...

/news/2009/sep/16/Morning_Brew/

Q&A with KU Alumnus Luis Santos, Sr.

The Kansan spoke with Luis Santos, Sr. about his retirement and what ...

/news/2010/nov/22/q-ku-alumnus-luis-santos-sr/

Ho: No excuses for being uninformed

Students should be more socially and politically aware.

/news/2009/sep/01/ho_no_excuses_being_uninformed/

Hartz: Teenagers still underage, even though sending ...

Overland Park teens have recently been sending racy photos of themselves over ...

/news/2009/feb/16/hartz_teenagers/

CITIZEN DOLPH: A rare look at the ...

You may not recognize his name, but Dolph Simons Jr., chairman of ...

/news/2006/apr/04/dolph/

Senate coalitions face off on technology platform

KUnited and RenewKU state their position and promises for improving technology aspects ...

/news/2011/apr/11/senate-coalitions-face-technology-platform/

Mangiaracina: Idea of American dream has failed

The irony is that Spears has attained the fame, but it has ...

/news/2008/feb/22/mangiaracina/

Doing Without: Celebrity News

Absence makes the heart grow...?

/news/2011/apr/07/manual-doing-without-celebrity-news/

Blog: Is News Disappearing?

Why Have College Students Stopped Reading the News?

/news/2011/nov/30/blog-news-disappearing/

Celebrities offer poor role models

/news/2006/jan/20/opinion_wiley/

Hawktopics

News you can use

/news/2007/sep/13/hawktopics/

DISCONNECTED: A day without media

Could you survive it?

/news/2012/jan/25/without-media/

Holopirek: Who cares about Britney Spears?

Britney and Anna are old news. The Media needs to inform their ...

/news/2007/mar/26/holopirek/

It's time to ask questions, get answers

Get to know the candidates at The Kansan's Student Senate Debate. Presidential ...

/news/2008/mar/05/students_get_chance_ask_questions_get_answers/

9/20/07 Hawk Topics

News you can use

/news/2007/sep/20/92007_hawk_topics/

Minster: The summer that (sort of) was

How do you liven up up a summer spent in calculus class? ...

/news/2007/aug/13/minster/

Senate candidates make their cases at debate

KUnited and Renew KU candidates debated over platforms and ideas on Monday ...

/news/2011/apr/12/senate-candidates-make-their-cases-debate/

Hawk topics

News you can use

/news/2007/sep/27/hawk_topics/

Fans purchase 90s pop stars’ new albums

After the debut of Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys’ new albums, ...

/news/2007/nov/08/Britney/

What in the world

/news/2005/sep/08/what_world/

Hawk Topics

News you can use

/news/2007/nov/08/hawk_topics/

Q&A: Leonard Pitts Jr.

Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist to receive award at KU Friday.

/news/2010/feb/05/leonard-pitts/

Boultinghouse: News we'll never forget

Media coverage ignores real stories for sensational stories.

/news/2009/oct/30/boultinghouse-news/

Renowned journalist visits campus

Hersh, who exposed the torture at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq with ...

/news/2008/feb/08/hersh/

Facebook, ABC collaborate to provide political outlet

Facebook and ABC are working together to allow users of the Web ...

/news/2008/jan/17/facebook/

/weblogs/beer-for-breakfast/2009/oct/08/it-is-not-a-truck/

Mersmann: Bad parodies hurt U.S. culture

Movies often misinterpret the genre they are trying to mock.

/news/2008/jan/17/mersmann/

Third party candidates shake things up

Obama or McCain not speaking for you? Look at Nader or Barr.

/news/2008/nov/03/third_party/

Editorial: Prepare yourself for up coming elections

/news/2012/mar/06/editorial-prepare-yourself/

Professor to appear on The Daily Show ...

Associate dean in the journalism school to discuss his book, “Blogwars: The ...

/news/2008/may/08/daily_show/

Anderson: Looking back, there may be more ...

Informed opinions constitute the cornerstone of a democratic society.

/news/2008/apr/25/looking_back_there_may_be_more_opinions_just_havin/

Editorial: Setting the record straight

An explanation for why Student Senate shouldn't cut funding to the Kansan ...

/news/2010/apr/07/setting-record-straight/

Thornbrugh: If a tree falls in a ...

/news/2008/oct/23/thornbrugh_if_tree_falls_forest_we_make_porn_about/

How fair and balanced is the news?

The presidents of KU College Republicans and KU College Democrats will reach ...

/news/2008/nov/04/balanced_news/

Essential Life Skills: Deleting web history

In case of emergency, read quickly.

/news/2011/sep/14/essential-life-skills-deleting-web-history/

Student Senate Elections Commission hosts debate

The third debate of the semester will allow candidates to discuss issues ...

/news/2008/apr/04/debate/

Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.

Sign in to comment

Or login with:

OpenID