Free for all: March 9, 2007

By KANSAN

Friday, March 9, 2007

I just saw a guy take a shit on the other side of the rail at 6th and Iowa.

The fire alarm is going off, again. I was sleeping, again. If this happens one more time, I’m burning down the building.

Wedgie, wedgie, wedgie, wedgie! We just saw you pick your wedgie, guy with the black and yellow balloon!

It’s all about the Ranch.

People want to talk about fans that don’t have class. Classy fans don’t yell “bullshit.”

Natalie, I danced with you at Liquid a couple weeks ago, and I think you’re really hot, and I had a great time. P.S. This is David.

Julian Wright is sexual chocolate.

I was on my way back from a review, and I had to go to the bathroom so bad. I did what no one would probably dare to do. I squatted and peed right next to a tree in the middle of campus.

There’s a girl that just peed in front of Snow Hall by a tree, and I don’t think she thought anyone was looking, but I totally saw her out in Marvin.

Free-for-All, the peep-holes in the bathrooms between the urinal and the first stall in the men’s room of Anschutz, Wescoe, and Watson library really creep me out.

Remember TV before the Spangles commercials? Those were the good ole days.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! My iPod still works, after going through the washer and drier!

I will get ticketed for public urination before I die, if it’s the last thing I do.

I’m here in Oklahoma City for the Women’s Big 12 Tournament, and we’re all pretty sure that the Baylor coach looks like she’s going to the prom.

If you own a Bluetooth, you just look like you’re talking to yourself, and you look crazy as hell.

We definitely just caught a campus squirrel. We’re pretty much badass.

But seriously, we really did just catch a campus squirrel.

I just had a runny drip of snot fall in my Honey Nut Cheerios, and I continued to eat it. I didn’t know if that was gross or not.

Dear Free-for-All, my roommate just asked me to pick her wedgie, because her nails are wet. How should I respond to this?

There’s rabbits everywhere!

To the girl, or guy, who commented on the dick/M&M theory: Excellent. Excellent.

Just because you’re a KU athlete does not mean my car will stop. The next time you walk up in front of me, I will run over you.

Some girl in the UDK says her favorite restaurant is El Mez because of the margaritas. Oh wait, she’s a Leavenworth freshman. Explain that!

Croatia really exists, eh? Why can’t I find any Americans who can find it on a map? Sounds to me like a conspiracy. Why do people keep insisting that they hate America?

I can’t believe my biology teacher just talked about bees getting off.

For all the guys who’d like to bang my roommate: She says the first guy to bring her a rose is all hers.

I saw Max Falkenstien at the club last night, and I’m not going to lie. He’s a pretty good dancer!

I’m dating a Croatian right now, yet I’m still skeptical about of whether Croatia exists.

I found a candy bar on the side of the sidewalk. I ate it, and I hope I wake up in the morning.

My roommate really pissed me off, so I farted in his wide-open, drunk mouth.

Washington founded Croatia before saving the children.

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Free for All: May 4, 2007

I found a hat that says "Jawhawk." What does that mean?

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Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

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Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

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Free For All: September 24, 2007

If a song is going to bleep out a word, they should ...

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Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

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Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

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Free for All: August 29, 2007

I hate you, Park & Ride. Now I’m late for class. I ...

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Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

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Free For All: March 7, 2007

March Madness, baby! Catch the fever.

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Free For All: October 3, 2007

Somebody tell Taco Bell that “melty” is not a word. Although, it ...

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Free for All: March 8, 2007

My friend just told me I had DSL. That’s like the Internet, ...

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Free For All: Sept. 20, 2007

Finally, someone else realizes that Crocs are the root of all evil.

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Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free for all: Oct. 17

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Free For All: September 4, 2007

It’d be cool if cops drove minivans.

/news/2007/sep/04/free_all_september_4_2007/

Free For All: February 23, 2007

I think I’m giving up homework for Lent.

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Free For All: October 22, 2007

The other day I had a flat tire, and I had three ...

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Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

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Free for All: May 3, 2007

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

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Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

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Free for All: April 24, 2007

It just wouldn’t be Wescoe beach without the crazy flier hander-outers and ...

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Free for All: Oct. 12, 2005

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Carmichael: A day in the life of ...

Compare your snow day with the adventures of Chance Carmichael.

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Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

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Free for All: March 2, 2007

It's only been a week of Lent, and I've already messed up ...

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Free for All: August 23, 2007

Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.

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These are my people

Finding spiritual identity in Italy.

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Free For All: August 22, 2007

Thank God someone is standing up for “manorexics.”

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Free For All: April 11, 2007

I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

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Free for All: February 26, 2007

"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...

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Free For All: October 25, 2007

If physics was a person, he would have no friends on Facebook.

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To hell and back

A fight outside Naismith Hall began Thor Nystrom's year-long journey into the ...

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Free For All: April 5, 2007

Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...

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Free for All: February 27, 2007

To the guy in Ellsworth who pooped in my bed: You’d better ...

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Free For All: April 18, 2007

Free for All is my new addiction.

/news/2007/apr/18/free_all/

Free For All: November 5, 2007

Holy Ladybug Invasion, what the hell is going on?

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Next to Normal

Aliza Chudnow is learning to let go of her resentment and to ...

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Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

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Free For All: August 30, 2007

To the person who made the comment about the drumline: No sir, ...

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