Free for All: March 14, 2007

By KANSAN

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I walked by Brandon Rush twice today, and he checked me out once. It’s going to be a good day.

My fiance, who is a female, definitely just said that March is only for basketball, and I would have to agree with her.

I think the better question is how do you know what Band-aids taste like?

I just saw a man with a purse, and I’m slightly confused.

In reference to the call that was made about the man-purse, it was a cute purse.

I think Sherron Collins is the best basketball player ever, but I find it very rude that he will never accept my friend invitation on facebook,

To the person who complained that the drinking fountains taste like Band-aids: How do you know what Band-aids taste like?

I just saw two guys trying to scale the wall of Anschutz library.

At the beginning of the semester, I enrolled in an evolutionary biology class. Little did I know, I was volunteering myself for a population genetics course.

Hey Free-for-All, you think you could get me some of whatever the NCAA Selection Committee is smoking?

Some girl just almost got hit by a bus next to Jayhawk Bookstore, at the top of the hill.

I bet K-State doesn’t even teach evolution!

I going to start spreading needles all over campus, so you hippies better start wearing shoes.

Free-for-All, screw North Korea! My roommate has weapons of “ass” destruction.

To anyone who refers to facebook as an icon of social status: Get a damned clue.

If you want to get a girl to like you, get money.

Maybe the disgusting people get defensive because you don’t have the balls to say it to their face.

To the girl in the skirt, above me: Please, stop wearing underwear.

It’s 3:00 in the morning, and I don’t know where to put the verbs.

To all the idiots who hurt themselves playing with their Nintendo Wii: I have one, and it’s perfectly safe. The only problem with the Wii is user error.

Is it bad that I have herpes and I’m still having sex with random chicks at The Hawk?

To the lady who nearly lost her tube-top on The Price is Right today: I have one question for you. Why?

I blame B harmonic minor scales for all the problems in the world.

You know why a girl will eat an M&M off the floor and won’t give you a blow job? Because you haven’t put M&Ms on your penis.

You hurt yourself playing a video game. Congratulations, you’re retarded.

Free-for-All, this is bullshit! I just opened my bag of Doritos Baked Lays, and there are only nine chips.

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think “would an idiot do that?” If they would, I do not do that thing.

I just played in a puddle in an elevator. I don’t know why it was there. It’s not raining.

Free for All: March 15, 2007

Who put chopsticks into the holes on the intercom in Hash’s elevator? ...

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Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

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Free For All: March 7, 2007

March Madness, baby! Catch the fever.

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Free for All: March 8, 2007

My friend just told me I had DSL. That’s like the Internet, ...

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Free for All: March 5, 2007

Spring has come again, which means the start of another baseball season, ...

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Free for All: April 24, 2007

It just wouldn’t be Wescoe beach without the crazy flier hander-outers and ...

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Free For All: February 23, 2007

I think I’m giving up homework for Lent.

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Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

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Free for All: February 26, 2007

"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...

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The good, the bad, and the ugly: ...

Need advice? Ask our expert columnists and take their advice at your ...

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Free For All: October 19, 2007

Mario Chalmers has more hops than a brewery!

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Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

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Free For All: March 16, 2007

We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

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Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

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Free for All: March 2, 2007

It's only been a week of Lent, and I've already messed up ...

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Free for all: March 9, 2007

Free for All. . . For all the guys who’d like to ...

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Free for All: February 28, 2007

All the brain-droppings, unanswerable questions and witty observations you'd expect from the ...

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Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

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Confessions of a worry wart

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Free for All: March 30, 2007

Everyone was clothed in my chemistry class today. No big whoop. Just ...

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Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

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Free For All: March 12, 2007

The sun on my tummy feels so good!

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Free For All: October 22, 2007

The other day I had a flat tire, and I had three ...

/news/2007/oct/22/ffa/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

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Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

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Free For All: May 9, 2007

Jack Sparrow dies at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

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Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Essential Life Skills: First Aid Kits

In case of emergency, read quickly.

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Free For All: Sept. 12, 2007

The next time one of you bicyclists runs a red light, I’ll ...

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Free For All: April 18, 2007

Free for All is my new addiction.

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Free for All: Sept. 14, 2007

Does anyone know what the deal is with that old crazy hippie ...

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Free for All: February 27, 2007

To the guy in Ellsworth who pooped in my bed: You’d better ...

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Free For All: March 9, 2006

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Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

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Free For All: April 20, 2007

I just drove by Burger King, and I saw Julian Wright with ...

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Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

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Free For All: August 30, 2007

To the person who made the comment about the drumline: No sir, ...

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Free For All: November 5, 2007

Holy Ladybug Invasion, what the hell is going on?

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Free for All: April 27, 2007

Can you tell me why I’ve been waiting in the rain for ...

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Free For All: August 22, 2007

Thank God someone is standing up for “manorexics.”

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