Free for All: March 28, 2007

By KANSAN

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I’m going back to Washington to take back the White House!

Why wasn’t anyone smiling when they looked at the UDK on Monday?

Free for All, my roommate and I are naked together right now, because it’s so hot in Ellsworth, and I love it.

I feel like my Spring Break was uneventful. I didn’t come back on crutches.

Whoever unlocked the roof access door on Strong Hall is seriously disturbed.

Alright, Free for All, you’ve been given a very high offer from the banker. Now, if you decide to take the money, you go. If you don’t you still have one more case which you may open. Free for All, my question for you is this: Deal or no deal?

There truly is nothing greater than a girl in a slightly-drenched, white T-shirt wearing no bra. God, I love breasts.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he isn’t doing a pushup, he’s pushing the world down.

KU Parking Department, don’t you know that I have to eat dinner? I hate you guys!

Okay, so I got a great idea. Since we pay so gosh-darn much for tuition at this stinkin’ university, we should get five parking amnesties from the Parking Department, because they’re evil.

Does anyone else think the campus smells like spooge today?

I just want to tell Brandon Rush that he’s a great defender, but they don’t play defense in the NBA, and he’s a horrible dribbler, and they kinda need that in the NBA. You oughta stay for another year or two.

I want to chop down all these stupid white trees that smell like dead fish and feces. They are driving me nuts.

To the Director of Student Housing: Turn the fucking AC on.

I just saw a mouse in my dorm room. Oliver, you suck.

The old building that got torn down at 23rd and Iowa was an old Furr’s Cafeteria that had been closed for like, ten years.

The building that was on 23rd and Iowa was the Furr’s crappy restaurant.

I seriously believe that the hole in the ozone layer could be linked to our bussing system.

The building at 23rd and Iowa used to be a Furr’s restaurant.

I wish the campus busses had bathrooms on them. Oh well, I’ll teach them a lesson.

When homeless people have their period, they use the Free for All section.

To the person who was just standing next to be in the bathroom: Thanks for the foul-smelling fart.

Just because we lost doesn’t mean you have the right to go all Roy Williams on our team.

To the guy who used his entire body to keep the elevator doors in Wescoe from closing: Thank you, you kept me from having to wait for another elevator.

There’s a freaking homeless guy living in a tree, right now. He’s hanging up his laundry on the branches.

How come there’s no talk about Matt Kleinman going to the NBA?

The building at 23rd and Iowa that got torn down was the old, abandoned Furr’s Cafeteria.

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My hands smell like syrup.

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