Gentry: Whispering sweet nothings

Friday, March 30, 2007

Flowers? Gifts? Cute little notes? What a turn-off. I’d rather have a guy that seems completely disinterested and doesn’t care if I live or die. Now that’s hot.

It seems that guys have got the idea that all girls want is a man that will do sweet things and treat them with respect, and I’m sick of it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been out with a guy and thought, “Man! He would be so perfect if he was just a little more rude to me.” Or, “Ugh, I hate it when a guy compliments me!” I want guys to tell me that I have never looked worse, that they’re embarrassed to be seen with me.

nutgraf

What’s the point in being in a relationship with someone who is going to make you feel good about yourself? That’s what friends are for. I need a boyfriend to lower my self-esteem and make me unhappy and depressed.

I want a guy who stands me up and forgets to call when he says he will. Who wants a guy who follows through with plans? Where’s the adventure? I love guys that will blow off a date because he’d rather go to a bar with his friends.

Nice guys do finish last because women aren’t looking for someone sweet, nice or dependable. We want guys that will treat us horribly.

Guys should just get straight to the point when asking girls out too: “Hey babe, we’re going out on Saturday. Be there.” I want a man who isn’t afraid to boss me around. I hate when guys give me a choice.

That’s the whole reason I date: so that they can make all my decisions for me! I don’t want to have to choose what I’m going to do on the weekend; I need a guy to make up my simple little mind for me.

Nice guys, you should discard all your flowers and sweet sayings. All you need to do to get a girl is the following: One, buy bright-colored polo. Two, pop its collar. Three, go to a bar, find a girl, and demand she go out with you. Four, when she agrees — because she will — take her to McDonald’s and talk about how hot other girls are. If that doesn’t work, well, she probably wouldn’t have put out anyway.

Gentry is a Kansas City, Kan., sophomore in a major that doesn’t matter — after all, why would a woman need to learn anything?

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