Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My lips taste bad.
I just saw a giant doughnut skating down the street. Typical Monday.
Free for All, I got closelined by the tree, again.
I went to Dallas this weekend, and Brandon Rush was on my flight, sitting two seats behind me. I was extremely aroused.
I want to thank whoever just threw a water balloon at me while I was tanning behind Ellsworth. I was starting to get hot.
Congratulations to every member on campus wearing green shirts and khaki shorts. All 51 of you, congratulations on wearing the shirt on the same exact day.
Update: Congratulations to the 56 men and women wearing green shirts and khaki pants today. You’re one in a million.
Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.
I was thinking, if you were in a drawing class with really hot people, and you had to draw them, I bet you would screw up more easily, because you’d just stare at their face and not the drawing.
The girl at Yellow Sub stamped my card twice, and it’s not even double stamp day. I can tell it’s going to be a great day.
To the Taco Bell employee who just told me I was behind Brandon Rush in line: You’re cute.
It was raining in Hash last night.
You were so much cooler last year.
Drive sober, but fly high.
Hey Free for All, what do you think about this, douche-ass?
Yeah, Free for All! I heard you’re a douche-ass!
Hey Free for All, someone called you a douche-ass. They’re a big ass-douche. I heard you’re a big ass-douche too, because you called that person back and called them a douche-ass, douche-ass.
Hey Free for All, it’s Todd. Just calling to see what you’re doing this weekend. Kinda bored, so call me back.
To the girl who said “Good morning” to me, over by Chase Court: You made my day.
I could never date a redhead, because people would think we are related.
It’s official. My roommate just won Douchebag of the Month Award, and it’s only May 1st.
In regards to the Mr. Pibb/Dr, Pepper joke in the Free for All: If you’re going to be quoting Mitch Hedberg, please give him some credit. He is deceased, and he was a wonderful man.
There is a blue, gummy fruit snack on the floor of the girl’s bathroom. I almost ate it, but I didn’t, and it is a decision I will regret for the rest of my life.
I just wanted to say “Thank you” to whoever wrote all the names of the fallen heroes of the Iraq war on the sidewalk. That is incredible, and it means a lot.
G-T-F-O off my floor, noobs.
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Free for All: August 16, 2007
The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...
Free For All: October 17, 2007
I just drowned a moth in my piss.
Free For All: April 23, 2007
Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...
Free for All: May 8, 2007
My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.
Free for All: November 9, 2007
Join the Todd Reesing For Heisman group on facebook
Free For All: October 8, 2007
Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...
Free for All: March 14, 2007
I bet K-State doesn’t even teach evolution!
Free For All: April 4, 2007
Whoever is flying the kite in front of Templin: You’re adorable.
Free for All: April 30, 2007
My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...
Free for All: April 9, 2007
Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...
Free for All: April 17, 2007
I swear, it’s like 7th Street is just one big pot hole. ...
Free for All: February 1
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Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...
Free for All: April 13, 2007
I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...
Free For All: October 25, 2007
If physics was a person, he would have no friends on Facebook.
Free For All: March 16, 2007
We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...
Free For All: October 5, 2007
Why do we have a purple bra on the front page of ...
Free For All: August 28, 2007
Free for All, do a barrel roll.
Free For All: March 9, 2006
Free for All: Oct. 12, 2005
Free For All: Sept. 13, 2007
I have a friend. He eats beads so his poop will be ...
Free For All: August 27, 2007
To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...
Free For All: October 10, 2007
Looks like someone forgot their power towel.
Free For All: August 17, 2007
Free for All, I just got up at seven o’clock to go ...
Free for All: April 12, 2007
I’m just holding a phone up to my face and talking to ...
Free For All: September 19, 2007
After all Britney has been through, leave Britney alone!
Free for all: Oct. 17
Free for All: April 10, 2007
I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...
Free for All: Dec. 11, 2006
Here is your Finals Free for All.
Free for All: February 28, 2007
All the brain-droppings, unanswerable questions and witty observations you'd expect from the ...
Free For All: February 23, 2007
I think I’m giving up homework for Lent.
Free For All: April 16, 2007
I called because I didn’t know what you sounded like, and frankly, ...
Free for All: September 21, 2007
Community college sucks. I miss you, Free for All.
Free for All: September 11, 2007
You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...
Free For All: August 24, 2007
What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...
Free for All: May 3, 2007
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Free For All: October 26, 2007
Guess what, I’m on my way to work right now, and I ...
Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007
I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.
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