Free for All: May 8, 2007

By KANSAN

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

We’ve got a new game. We need your help with direction to drive. Left, right, or straight. Choose one.

Dragon, dragon, dragon, dragon. Does Mike have a boner yet?

To the guy who touched my butt last night: It felt real good.

Free for All, I’m a whore. I’ve had sex with four different people in the last six weeks.

Hey Free for All, I got pulled over by a cop doing 83 in a 65, but I said, “Hey, I know Free for All,” and they were like, “OK, we’ll let you go this time, but you better tell Free for All that we let you go.” Thanks, Free for All. You’re my best friend.

Safe Ride drinks and drives. Travis and I just witnessed it. Shame on you, Safe Ride.

Put your crotch away.

My crotch is Free for All.

I went to the bathroom in Watson today, in one of the stalls, and I found a book in there. All I could think was, “Why didn’t anybody think of that sooner?”

I just wanted you to know that you ripped my heart out, and you will never know that I cried about you today.

Hey Free for All, it’s not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off. You know, because it’s your dog! Get it?

I’m just calling because I saw today’s paper, and they said a “flock” of crows. It is a “murder” of crows. Whoever said it’s a flock of crows needs to get their older women straight. It’s a murder of older women.

To whoever called in about the crows: A group of crows is called a murder, not a flock. Get it right.

A group of crows is called a murder, not a flock.

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

To the comment about the elderly flock looking like crows: Crows travel in a murder. It’s called a murder, yeah.

It’s not a flock of crows. It’s called a murder.

A group of crows is called a murder, you flock-head!

Burf, if you don’t get home pretty soon, God’s going to make you vomit in church.

To the girl going into Wescoe at 10 with the long, yellow raincoat. You remind me of Harriet the Spy. It makes me smile.

Amy, we’re putting creamy, crusty mayonnaise tartar sauce in your shampoo.

A group of crows is called a murder, not a flock, so it would be a murder of older women.

Wow Free for All, thanks for letting a comment in that spoiled the end of Spider-Man 3 for me. I really, really, really appreciate it.

Free For All: May 9, 2007

Jack Sparrow dies at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

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Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

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Stop. Hammertime.

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Honk if you love peace and quiet.

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Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

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Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.

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Free for All, do a barrel roll.

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Join the Todd Reesing For Heisman group on facebook

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My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

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Free For All: November 30, 2007

To the kid I copied off of: you are dead!

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Free For All: April 4, 2007

Whoever is flying the kite in front of Templin: You’re adorable.

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Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

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Free For All: September 7, 2007

My hands smell like syrup.

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Free For All: February 23, 2007

I think I’m giving up homework for Lent.

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Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

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I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...

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Free for All is my new addiction.

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We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

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Free For All: October 1, 2007

Let me reiterate, the $500 ResNet fee is ridiculous.

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Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

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Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

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I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

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Guess what, I’m on my way to work right now, and I ...

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I’ve decided to wear black for the rest of the week to ...

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Stop following me you damn campus cop! You make me nervous!

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Why do people wear sunglasses on cloudy days?

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Can you tell me why I’ve been waiting in the rain for ...

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Why don't we do it on the ...

State radio brings service to the community.

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All the brain-droppings, unanswerable questions and witty observations you'd expect from the ...

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If a song is going to bleep out a word, they should ...

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