Thursday, May 10, 2007
To whoever took my skull and crossbones umbrella from 3139 Wescoe: Please turn it into the lost and found, because it means a lot to me.
Did you know a stripper is a key component in the manufacturing of socks?
There was quite a murder of people who called in about the flock of crows.
I just saw a used condom in one of the urinals in the boy’s bathroom at Mrs. E’s.
I totally just saw a guy puke three times in aisle twelve of Checkers.
There’s a werewolf in my chem discussion.
In the end of the new Citizen Kane movie, Rosebud is his sled.
In the end of the new George Lucas movie, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.
At the end of the new planet of the apes movie, it’s actually earth in the future.
At the end of that new movie Fight Club, Tyler Durden is actually in his imagination.
At the end of the new Sixth Sense movie, Bruce Willis is actually a ghost.
Rocky loses in Rocky I, he loses and wins in Rocky, no, Rocky III, he wins in Rocky II, he wins in Rocky IV, and he wins in Rocky V in the street fight, and he wins in VI.
At the end of Die Hard, it’s actually a double-cross. They’re not really terrorists with political agendas, they’re trying to rob the place.
At the end of the first Friday the 13th, it’s actually Jason’s mother that’s killing everyone.
At the end of the new movie Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Pink, played by Steve Buscemi, is actually the traitor.
At the end of the new movie The Village, it’s not actually set in the past, it’s set in the present.
At the end of the new Free for All movie, they give away the ending to Spider-Man 3, and some asshole keeps calling in over and over, and ruining the ending for every other movie ever.
Black and Milds are like smoking a Fig Newton.
I’m a little lass that likes berries and cream, and a tall boy named Steve.
I just bought a microwave enchilada dinner, and now I know where E’s gets their Mexican food from.
Have you seen that movie Passion of the Christ? Yeah, spoilers, Jesus dies.
To those two sorority girls in my English class: Every time you talk, I die a little bit inside.
My honors chem teacher just set a flower pot on fire without using fire.
Nothing’s more awkward than when you start to sneeze, you make a face like you’re going to sneeze, and then you don’t sneeze.
To me, boxing is like a ballet. Except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve... (this goes on for awhile) ...one hundred and fourteen, one hundred and fifteen, one hundred and sixteen, one hundred and sev- (time’s up!).
Free for All, I knew you’d pick up. I’ve been trying to find someone to drunk dial all morning, and yes, it’s only noon, and I knew you would pick up. Thank you.
Free for All, I hate you. My boyfriend caught the first Spider-Man spoiler before I read it, but not this one. You’re a douche, and I’m never reading you again. Seriously, you’re really a douche for putting the spoiler for a movie in not once, but twice, dumbasses.
If we put a keg inside a giant red cup in Naismith, can we throw a kegger? Just wondering.
Stop. Hammertime.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Single for a reason.
Double-A batteries are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Bigs and Littles
Sibling relationships are always tough, but some students volunteer to take on ...
Ho: A reason to love coffee
There's always time to try something new.
Listen to some tunes before it’s too ...
Summers almost at an end, but students can still stay busy with ...
Free for All: April 26, 2007
Why do I have to pay the same amount to get taught ...
Q & A: Ayad Al Adhamy of ...
Because we have questions. Celebrities have answers.
Free for All: Oct. 12, 2005
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I just drowned a moth in my piss.
Free for All: April 30, 2007
My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...
Schumaker: It looks easy on TV, but ...
Sometimes, politicians on TV are less phony than the real ones.
New offensive line grows in offseason
Young players fill holes and take on new responsibilities.
Kansas needs upset win against Nebraska
Success in Lincoln will end Cornhuskers’ undefeated season, boost tournament resume.
Bitch & Moan
Students sexual concerns get answered.
Blankenau: Déjà boo: Feeling I’ve seen this ...
Movie Review
Spider-Man 3
5 Questions
A quick 5 questions with Chris Daniels, stunt man for Spiderman, and ...
Five questions
You vs. them
Morning Brew: Withey’s transfer could be giant ...
Bill Self received some holiday cheer in the form of a 7-footer ...
Camp classic brings eccentricity to audience’s experience
“The Rocky Horror Picture Show” remains beloved three decades after its initial ...
Cawthon: Tinkering harms franchise
George Lucas should leave Star Wars alone.
Another night on the pitch
Johnny’s Tavern owner is a big part of the Kansas Jayhawk Rugby ...
To hell and back
A fight outside Naismith Hall began Thor Nystrom's year-long journey into the ...
How cell phones and social media have ...
The ability to connect during concerts, movies and sporting events helps us ...
Schumaker: Lucas finds new ways to ruin ...
The new Blu-ray rereleases of the original Star Wars trilogy cause some ...
Bad News Billy
Free For All: May 2, 2007
Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.
Movies to watch for in 2009
A sneak peak at next year's blockbusters and busts
The spell is over
KU students mark the end of an era with the final Harry ...
Morning Brew: Jayhawk mascot not mean enough
Wartime KU mascot “The Warbird” strikes more fear in opponents’ hearts, should ...
Keying in on germs
The surfaces of public computer keyboards harbor hundreds of germs and bacteria. ...
Cruise at War
Movie review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
3 1/2 out 4 stars
Brew: Hungry for dirt on athletes
Has society’s obsession with the personal lives of celebrities crossed over to ...
Spider-Man’s contribution to football fandom
Kansas fans should follow the comic’s sage advice, accepting the responsibility that ...
Morning Brew: Academy Awards Kansan style
Rustin Dodd delves into “The Wrestler” and gives his picks for top ...
Hawk topics
News you can use
Leaving a lasting legacy
As Hemenway prepares to retire, he and others look back at how ...
Study shows decline in empathy among ‘Generation ...
Univerisity of Michigan researchers find a correlation between technology and the way ...
Moreland: going bovine book review
Book Review of Going Bovine by Libba Bray bizarre but original.
The uncertainties of spring practice
Gill must choose a quarterback and defensive end and still has to ...
Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007
Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...
From left: Kimberlee Hinkle, Libby Johnson and Hannah ...
1 comment
Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
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Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
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Armed robbers continue to threaten.
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Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
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