Thursday, May 10, 2007
My fellow 2007 graduates:
Don’t move to hell.
If I could give you one piece of advice for the rest of your life, it would be not to move to Columbia, Mo. Because that’s pretty obvious, here are a few other tips to keep in mind for life after the University of Kansas.
When you pray — if you’re the praying type — always face the Mecca, Allen Fieldhouse.
Keep your ticket stubs.
Some day you’re going to get old and you can look at a ticket stub and remember when the Kansas football team finally beat Nebraska or when we sunk the goalposts and the Tigers and Wildcats at Memorial Stadium two straight times. Or when Keith Langford willed the Wayne Simien-less Jayhawks to victory on New Year’s day against Georgia Tech or the comeback against Kevin Durant and the Longhorns in your final game as a student at the Fieldhouse (oh wait, they quit giving us ticket stubs for basketball games).
nutgraf
When you have kids, make them Jayhawk fans.
Root for your hometown teams.
If you move to another city, don’t adopt that city’s teams as your teams. It’s sports bigamy, especially if you start rooting for another college other than Kansas. The only exception would be if you’re from Kansas City, for example, and you move to a city with an NBA team. You can adopt that NBA team as your favorite.
When you have kids, make them Jayhawk fans.
Don’t give them any other choice. Take them to a game at the Fieldhouse and a game at Memorial Stadium. Teach them the Rock Chalk Chant and tell them why our mascot is the Jayhawk.
If your kid wants a Duke hat or a UNC hat, ground him.
Don’t name your son Phog. Because I already called it — hopefully the future Mrs. Moore will understand.
If you come back for a game, you have only a two-year window where it’s OK to sit in the student section and this is if — and only if — you have no other choice. And if your parents are with you, then under no circumstance is it OK to sit in the student section.
Don’t tear down goalposts. It wasn’t even a good idea when you were still in college.
Wherever you move, find fellow Kansas graduates and get together to watch the KU games. Because it gets weird when you are the only one doing the Rock Chalk Chant at a bar and no one has any idea what you’re doing.
Always pick Kansas to win it all in your office pool. It’s the right thing to do. Be really annoying and vocal during March Madness in your office if the ‘Hawks are still alive, especially if you have Mizzou and K-State grads as co-workers.
Don’t ask for autographs.
You lost that right when you hit puberty. Get a handshake or share a conversation instead. It makes for a better story and the athletes will appreciate it.
Don’t marry a K-State fan or graduate. Those “this is a split household” signs are not cute.
Never ever marry a Missouri fan or graduate. No need to expound on this one. Just don’t do it; your offspring will appreciate it.
And of course, remember to never move to hell.
It wouldn’t suit you. You’re a Jayhawk.
Moore is a Shawnee senior in journalism.
—Edited by Lisa Tilson
Letter to the Editor: Don't degrade Rock ...
Chant is full of tradition and should be respected.
Wheeler: Goalposts don’t belong in lakes
It happened three times in 2005, and again in 2006 against Kansas ...
When the Jayhawks win, businesses lose
Many businesses lose money on the promotions they tie into men’s basketball ...
Group seeks to reform the Rock Chalk ...
An Facebook group of almost 1000 people is organized to take the ...
Offensive flood defeats Baylor
After more than two hours of weather delays, Kansas drilled Baylor with ...
Beecher: Rock chalk a cultural wonder
Rock Chalk Chant a finalist in list of cultural wonders in Kansas.
‘Rock Chalk’ chant rallies team
Inspired by chant, Jayhawks defeat Tigers at Kauffman Stadium.
Big 12 basketball coaches change pregame ritual
The Alma Mater and Rock Chalk chants will switch with the national ...
Alumnus moves into the big leagues
After graduating from the University in May, C.J. Moore received the opportunity ...
How to cheer at games 101
Free For All: March 26, 2007
I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...
Kealing: Fans need to show pride Saturday
With the Big 12 and NCAA tournaments coming up, fans need to ...
Lavieri: Missouri, it’s not Kansas, it’s you
The move to the Southeastern Conference will only hurt Missouri.
Beecher: Why voting for a new chant ...
It’s time for this generation to step up and kick the apathy.
Free for All: September 11, 2007
You go to college because after waitressing for twenty years you’ll have ...
Schlesener: Take the "whoo" out of the ...
Adding "whoo" to the Rock Chalk chant takes away from the tradition.
Students put meaning behind chants, songs
The University has several traditions for students and fans. Those new to ...
Historic rally seals conference title
After falling behind by 22 points, the Jayhawks came back to win ...
Guest: Kansas basketball beyond definition
KU basketball is 40,000 people within five blocks, without one act of ...
Soccer team appreciates vigorous fans
Soccer fans surprised the team last game with drums, chants and vuvuzelas.
Fans keep tailgating despite construction
The construction of the new Anderson Family Football Complex has caused some ...
Rothman: Breathe easy, it's only spring
The annual spring football game helped fans forget about last season's downfalls.
K.C. Wizards to meet, greet in Lawrence
Players from the team will take part in prize drawings and foosball, ...
35 Things to do before you MOVE ...
KUlture: He's the new bird on the ...
Campus celebrity White Owl encourages, entertains, inspires.
Looking at both sides of the scalp
The Athletics Department has begun to take legal action against ticket scalpers ...
Quidditch team comes up short in World ...
The Jayhawks lost in the Sweet 16 against Minnesota in their first ...
Poll: Should the "whoo" be included in ...
Listen to the Rock Chalk Chant and tell us whether you want ...
Letter: KU fans disrespect anthem
KU fans among the most disrespectful fans.
Fans watch game at fieldhouse
For fans who chose to watch the Jayhawks play Tar Heels away ...
Morning Brew: Running clears one’s mind and ...
During stressful times, only 20 minutes of running can help.
Exhale stress, inhale success
Meditating to ease your mind can be as simple as breathing
Erickson: Remind me: Which state are we ...
The Ten Commandments of tailgating
In a town where football is more religion than pastime, tailgating is ...
Back to basics: guide to the University
Learn where the Rock Chalk chant came from and where the one-way ...
Traditions night preview
Hawk Week allows new students to learn KU traditions.
Dent: Let’s leave the chant behind with ...
Press Row: Kansas vs. Oklahoma
Michael Phillips shares his experiences from the Kansas vs. Oklahoma game.
Championship parade takes over downtown
Basketball players and coaches, the Marching Band, Chancellor Hemenway and fans from ...
Brew: Professional sports and playoff fever
Lawrence is a melting pot of sports fans from all over, and ...
Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
2 comments
Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
1 comment
0 comments
Armed robbers continue to threaten.
3 comments
Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
0 comments
KUnited presidential candidate Libby Johnson and vice presidential ...
1 comment
Comments
Use the comment form below to begin a discussion about this content.
Sign in to comment
Or login with:
OpenID