Monday, November 26, 2007
This is the second part of a two-part series about things that really annoy me when on campus. The first column was about how to avoid people on campus that you would rather not have a conversation with. I’ve now had numerous encounters with people while walking to class who purposefully pretend to talk on their cell phone every time they see me. It has been positively delightful.
I’m not sure when the switch occurred, but it was probably somewhere around my third semester here at old KU when I began not to give a rat’s patoot about what I wore to class each day. The days of getting up, showering, putting on makeup and picking out an outfit became a vague disturbing memory, and the days of a pair of jeans and a tee with the same sweatshirt every day emerged and were going nowhere fast.
After having the epiphany that dressing up on campus was completely ridiculous, everyone else’s outfits became an obsession, leading to borderline hysteria at what was traipsing around on our fine campus sidewalks.
Rule number one: If you wear it to the Hawk, it is absolutely unacceptable campus wear. Unless you didn’t have time to change before class after a late night rendezvous, but if that’s the case you should expect ridicule for being such a philandering drunk.
Rule number two: The whole, “Oh look, I just rolled out of bed in a form-fitting pair of sweatpants with perfect hair and makeup” look makes me want to projectile vomit all over that person. You’re not fooling anyone. It’s obvious you tried really hard, and P.S. velour is OVER. It’s done, over, fini. J-Lo ruined it for everyone. Please, if you didn’t get the memo, consider this a personal invitation to give your matching sweatpants to the Salvation Army. Let someone homeless and cold benefit from your obsolete $300 ugly sweat suit, because it sure as hell isn’t doing you any favors.
Rule number three: this is for the fellas. You can’t wear a visor backwards; it completely defeats the purpose of the visor and makes you look like you might have learning problems. At least a backwards cap keeps your head warm. What does a backwards visor do? I think the only thing it accomplishes is making a guy look like a huge tool shed. And what’s with the basketball shorts and collared shirts? Just wear a T-shirt, or put on some jeans and spare us all the unwanted view of your junk when you’re slouching down in your desk during class. It’s revolting. Also, those T-shirts with the anime chicks with huge jugs straddling surfboards are really lame, too; don’t wear those either. And shower. Really, I think it’s awesome that you were so wasted last night, but I don’t want to smell your drunk musk. Period.
So I guess the message is, well, I forgot what the message was, but I do know that I really hate velour and drunk musk and carnies because they smell like cabbage.
Simmermon is a Leawood senior in journalism.
Hartz: Rules of the road when you’re ...
Cashiers notice your dirty habits; take note and our advice.
Esposito: Fashion rules may be broken
The fashion forward should always follow some rules, but others are acceptable ...
Simmermon: Avoid awkward on-campus meetings
Use a variety of tricks to avoid social situations
Unwritten rules of Big Jay
Two junior and two senior men share the identity of Big Jay. ...
Simmermon: Fashion confusion always a possibility
Two similar looks can cause bad combinations.
Five Wardrobe Essentials for Men and Women
Timeless clothing options that can improve your everyday look.
Free for All: August 23, 2007
Free for All, you can stand under my umbrella.
Knutsen: Dress nicely this winter
Don't let cold weather clothes hide your personality and class.
Dress de(CODE)d
Undressing your wardrobe.
Simmermon: Texting finds unique purpose
Text messages can be great for flirting, organizing plans or passing time ...
Doing Without: Wearing Blue Jeans
Absence makes the heart grow...?
Classic Hats
How to choose the right one for you.
Esposito: Find your level of Jayhawk fashion
Whether it's blended, chic or die-hard, everyone has their style
Esposito: Fashion plays important role on dates
Fashion is always important, but even more so on dates.
Castle: Really gay advice...on staying dry
Ways on how to stay cool during hot Kansas weather
Free For All: April 5, 2007
Free for All, my boyfriend was kissing this girl on the poster. ...
Simmermon: Sexual responsibility necessary
Healthy sex life depends on good decisions.
The Ten Commandments of tailgating
In a town where football is more religion than pastime, tailgating is ...
Free For All: October 29, 2007
College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to ...
You are What You Wear... Out
Dress your best for a great night out
Petterson: Translating the mystery of non-KU apparel
No longer a need to question the meaning of your lab partner's ...
Simmermon: It’s a bad day when you ...
Lots of people who live here feel invincible, like they can walk ...
University should put best foot backward
Free For All: September 6, 2007
The comment before this one sucked.
Free For All: May 2, 2007
Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.
Free For All: November 7, 2007
Go to YouTube and type “Kansas White Owl.”
Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007
Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...
Man vs. Woman: What is or isn't ...
Two writers give their opinions of what they find attractive on the ...
From sole to sole
The effects shoes have on your body and health
Wescoe Wit
Watch what you say on campus..
Free for All: February 26, 2007
"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...
Dressing With Style
What inspires and influences fashion trends on campus
Free For All: October 8, 2007
Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...
Snap shot
Simple tips to improve your photographs.
Stewart: Consumer design has gotten lazy
What's the point of a belt buckle bottle opener if the buckle ...
Stephens: Do your own thing, screw the ...
After careful consideration, I now know why the cage bird sings.
Bitch and Moan
What's up with that? Nosy about grades
A discussion about discussing grades.
Free for All: April 9, 2007
Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...
From left: Kimberlee Hinkle, Libby Johnson and Hannah ...
1 comment
Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
2 comments
Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
1 comment
0 comments
Armed robbers continue to threaten.
3 comments
Lecture from Greg Mortenson, co-author of New York ...
0 comments
Comments
Simmermon: Dress on campus should be practical
Seriously, who cares this much?
Simmermon: Dress on campus should be practical
I personally love the collared shirt(POLO) and basketball shorts look. Frat!
Simmermon: Dress on campus should be practical
I agree. I think the sideways visor is the most ridiculous thing I've seen--though the backwards visor is still pretty ridiculous.
Sign in to comment
Or login with:
OpenID