A young couple steps inside a movie theatre. They hold hands tightly as they walk down the aisle toward a horror film flickering on-screen. What they don’t know is ahead of them waits every horror film nemesis they’ve ever known. They’ll be chased by Jigsaw, Pinhead, Jason, Freddie, and many more.

This is just one of two new haunted houses located at the infamous West Bottoms district in Kansas City. The Macabre Cinema brings every horror flick to life and places you right in the middle. The Chambers of Edgar Allen Poe does the same for the famous author’s stories.

There’s no comparing the two. They use two different types of scare tactics. If you take the Chambers of Edgar Allen Poe first, you’re in for a lighter scare. Even though it’s a more realistic scare, it’s still the Diet Coke of haunted houses.

When you walk into the first room, Poe himself is there to greet you and tell you about the scares ahead.

Apparently in his afterlife, Poe got bored and brought to life his scariest stories. This all sounds inventive and exciting but remember, you’re basically walking through an American literature haunted house.

Without spoiling all the tales you will encounter, you should be warned that the first is quite possibly the creepiest. After leaving Poe’s office, you come to the front door of the house of Usher and are greeted by the eerie homeowner. He tells you that he put his sister in the wall and he’d like you to leave his house. There’s something about a shadowy man in a top hat following you around a house yelling at you murderously that creates a more bone-chilling effect than any man in a mask could ever achieve.

From this point on the tales get a little blurry and the cheap old parlor tricks of past haunted houses return. People pop out from behind doors, whisper in your ear, and crack chains against walls. Vague story references are the only evidence of Poe in the house. One of the only other well-told stories besides “the House of Usher” is “the Tell Tale Heart.”

Also, the company promises to show you what it’s like to suffocate, and delivers on that promise. It is a nerve-wracking part of the experience, especially when you think about how many people sweat their way through it before you. Overall, you’ll spend 30 to 45 minutes in the Chambers.

Maniacal Movies

From Poe you can move on to the Macabre Cinema, where all the classic horror films come to life. There, you’ll meet every masked villain from horror films. They obviously poured money into the sets and put a lot of work into the look and feel of the place.

After stepping through the movie screen at the beginning of the cinema, you have to walk down a dim-lit corridor with jail cells on either side, one of which is plate glass. Sound familiar? You’re taking the same walk Clarice Starling took in Silence of the Lambs. It’s eerie and so is the actor who plays him.

The Cinema’s fright factor really depends on which movies you watched as a kid, and how much they terrified you. If you were scared of the puppet in Saw, Pinhead, the Candyman, Jason, Freddie, and so on, chances are you’ll feel right at home. This is, of course, if in your home you pee your pants and scream frequently.

If these are just characters to you, chances are you won’t be as scared as your friend clinging to your shoulder, but the actors still manage to spook you. Let’s just say that often in this haunted house, it’s not the leader who should be scared.

Another tip: If you’ve been to the Morgue (the haunted house, not the body locker) then you’ll find your way out of the tricky scary parts much faster. If not, well, good luck with the butcher.

Despite the scare factor in this one, it wasn’t very inventive and there were a lot of missed chances to really put fear in the customer. Walking down a hallway full of doors in a scene straight out of The Shining, you’d expect a couple doors to pop open. Or, if you’re walking down a really long, dim-lit corridor, being followed by a shadowy figure could put the sweat in your restless night. The only thing you’ll find in their very long corridor, though, is a quick slap paint job and some spooky tinny music. You’ll spend slightly more time in the Cinema than at the Chambers—45 minutes to an hour.

There is a great backbone to the two new kids on the block—they’re doing it for the kids. Proceeds from the Macabre Cinema and the Chambers of Edgar Allen Poe go to Variety: The Children’s Charity of Greater Kansas City.

Just like its double feature predecessors, The Beast and The Edge of Hell, you can go to one or the other for $20 or both for $33. It’s for a good cause, though, so get out there, scream like a girl and pee your pants for the kids.