Free For All: October 29, 2007

By KANSAN

Monday, October 29, 2007

To all the freshmen who are sitting behind me in Dr. Holmes’ Psych 104 lecture class: Shut up. No one cares how much your computer cost.

Why is the sound for punching always “pssh, pssh”? It just doesn’t make sense.

College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to go, Easy Mac. Way to go.

Free for All, I have a bruise on my leg and a bruise on my face. Do you know how I got them? I don’t remember.

I just got lassoed by Superman in the intersection on Iowa. What should I do?

Why does my National Guard shirt I got today smell like bacon?

The doctor said this one’s the clap, but it feels more like the applause.

I’m not quite sure, but I think I just saw a banana riding a bicycle.

I personally think the Rockies are gonna win the series.

I think there’s a damn elephant upstairs!

Seriously, if you want to do another Halloween story about witches, talk to my ex-wife.

How is it that the lady on the Cici’s Pizza commercial can pick up the hot pan that’s coming out of the oven with her bare hand?

I’m bored, Free for All. Entertain me.

(Belch)

Writing a paper on whether the Big Mac or the Whopper is better is the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.

To the guy in the blue shirt and the jeans, who just pissed on the DSH office doors: I’m staying over at GSP and I totally saw you do that. Way to go, man.

Love shack, baby, love shack! Love shack, baby, love shack!

If every time somebody lit a cigarette it exploded, I would be okay with that.

I think Mark Mangino needs to be on the front row of the student section for the first Big 12 conference game.

To the frat guy who tried to get me to donate money to his cause on Wescoe Beach: Making fun of people isn’t the best way to get that done. Why don’t you sell your daddy’s Beamer and donate some money of your own?

Or the Beamer your daddy bought you. One of them. Figure it out.

The elevators in Wescoe keep opening up without anyone inside of them. They’re trying to beckon me to my death.

This is for all the hippies with the “Save the Wakarusa Wetlands” bumper sticker. That’s a man-made wetland. It never existed before we made it. Take your sticker off.

I saw Satan on campus wearing Uggs.

Can you still say “fuck” in the Free for All?

My clutch smells like beer. Is that a bad thing?

Why does it look like they’re building a ramp to Chi Omega? It kinda looks like they want another car to jump into it.

Maybe you would be cooler if you took off those Ugg boots, you idiot sorority girl.

If you lost your phone outside of Wescoe, I dropped it off at the Watson Library desk.

Holy crap! Mark Mangino is on ESPN!

Hey! I’m in Costa Rica, and I just got robbed, but I don’t give a fuck because I’m drunk!

My friend masturbated in the Hyatt dumpster.

The new corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Rocky loves Emily.

I’m in the first floor of Watson Library right now and really horny. I wanna jack off so bad.

You just had sex with Chuck Norris!

McAnderson, you magnificent bastard!

Fuck diets. I’m eating at Taco Bell.

Hit it! Hit it hard!

Free for All, I’m the D.D., and I’m drunk.

Free For All: Sept. 17, 2007

I just saw van slam into a car, and it was awesome.

/news/2007/sep/17/free_all_/

Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

/news/2007/apr/06/freeforall/

Free for all: Oct. 17

/news/2005/oct/17/free_all_oct_17/

Free for All: May 1, 2007

I just got done eating, and I came outside and walked behind ...

/news/2007/may/01/free_all/

Free for All: April 13, 2007

I told my dad to put more money in my account because ...

/news/2007/apr/13/freeforall/

Free For All: March 26, 2007

I passed Buffalo Wild Wings as KU lost the game. I’m pretty ...

/news/2007/mar/26/free_all/

Free For All: September 19, 2007

After all Britney has been through, leave Britney alone!

/news/2007/sep/19/free_all_september_19_2007/

Free For All: September 4, 2007

It’d be cool if cops drove minivans.

/news/2007/sep/04/free_all_september_4_2007/

Free for All: April 24, 2007

It just wouldn’t be Wescoe beach without the crazy flier hander-outers and ...

/news/2007/apr/24/free_all/

Free for All: March 15, 2007

Who put chopsticks into the holes on the intercom in Hash’s elevator? ...

/news/2007/mar/15/free_all/

Free for All: April 9, 2007

Hey Royals fans, I can’t hear you now. Oops! Two and one, ...

/news/2007/apr/09/free_all/

Free for All: April 3, 2007

Dear Free for All, how do you cook panda meat? I just ...

/news/2007/apr/03/free_all/

Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

/news/2007/sep/10/free_all/

Free for All: February 26, 2007

"So United Students can't even spell "student" in chalk. Am I really ...

/news/2007/feb/26/free_all/

Wescoe wit

Lol.

/news/2010/may/06/wescoe-wit/

Catch of the Week:Jake Klenda

Our weekly peak at the fish in the KU sea.

/news/2012/jan/31/catch-weekjake-klenda/

Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

/news/2007/apr/10/free_all/

Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

/news/2007/sep/28/free_all_september_28_2007/

Free For All: October 22, 2007

The other day I had a flat tire, and I had three ...

/news/2007/oct/22/ffa/

Free for All: April 26, 2007

Why do I have to pay the same amount to get taught ...

/news/2007/apr/26/free_all/

Free for All: November 2, 2007

You know what? My day sucked until I discovered my mom sent ...

/news/2007/nov/02/free_all_november_2_2007/

Free for All: March 29, 2007

I’m a white guy and I have spinning tires. However, my rims ...

/news/2007/mar/29/free_al/

Wescoe Wit

Lol.

/news/2012/jan/31/wescoe-wit/

PDA: Legitimate actions or too much information

/news/2008/jun/13/pda/

Free for All: May 7, 2007

I got on the bus seat, out of the rain, and it ...

/news/2007/may/07/free_all/

Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

/news/2007/apr/02/free_all/

Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

/news/2007/mar/13/free_all/

Free For All: October 26, 2007

Guess what, I’m on my way to work right now, and I ...

/news/2007/oct/26/free_all_october_26_2007/

Editor's note

Jayplay editor's note

/news/2008/sep/18/editors_note_sept_18_2008/

Free For All: April 23, 2007

Free for All, if I had T-Mobile, you’d totally be in my ...

/news/2007/apr/23/free_all/

Free For All: November 5, 2007

Holy Ladybug Invasion, what the hell is going on?

/news/2007/nov/05/free_all_november_5_2007/

Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

/news/2007/sep/06/free_all_september_6_2007/

Carmichael: To change from the world’s worst ...

Turns out, my mom was right and blogging isn't so bad after ...

/news/2011/may/12/carmichael-change-worlds-worst-teen-slightly-less-/

Freshman’s switch to defense improves football team

Patterson may be small, but the team has improved since his move ...

/news/2008/nov/05/football/

Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

/news/2007/aug/24/free_all_august_24_2007/

Free For All: April 4, 2007

Whoever is flying the kite in front of Templin: You’re adorable.

/news/2007/apr/04/free_all/

Free For All: October 8, 2007

Free for All, why in the world can’t people in this God-forsaken ...

/news/2007/oct/08/Free_For_All/

Free For All: March 16, 2007

We’re definitely winning the Final Four. Colbert said it was going to ...

/news/2007/mar/16/freeforall/

Harris: Freedom is found inside a gold-tin ...

Restaurants shouldn't close for Christian holidays.

/news/2011/apr/28/harris-freedom-found-inside-gold-tin-wrapper/

Free For All: October 10, 2007

Looks like someone forgot their power towel.

/news/2007/oct/10/ffa/

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