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Hayes: Recent horror films lack real scares

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By Kelsey Hayes

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tonight, I’m going to do something truly horrifying.

I’m going to study for my exam in Religion 106.

Despite having dressed up (as a French maid to boot) the past two years and partied, I’m honestly not feeling the Halloween vibes. I went as ‘the opinion editor’ to a friend’s Halloween party last weekend, and the only candy-related item I’ve received was a big tin of assorted popcorn from my parents (which my colleagues proceeded to eat; thanks guys).

There is, however, one Halloween tradition I plan on keeping, even as I look over my notes on Buddhism.

Trashy, gory, violent horror films.

The American Movie Classics channel (AMC) annually has its Monsterfest, a marathon of horror films ranging from classics (“The Exorcist”) to camp (“Friday the 13th Part XXXIV: Jason Sees a Psychiatrist for Mommy Issues”).

"I guess I just have to live with the fact that people like seeing horrible things happen to other people. I don’t mind violence, but it has to have a purpose, a point."

Today, AMC’s horror franchise of choice is, appropriately, the “Halloween” films. Whoever decided to show the original “Halloween” at 10 a.m. and the subsequent sequels during prime time should probably lose their job. The original is scary at any time of day, but preferably not after an 8 a.m. lecture.

It’s a little disheartening that within a year or two, today’s so-called horror films will more than likely see action on AMC’s Monsterfest. Today it’s “Rosemary’s Baby,” and tomorrow it’s “Hostel.”

It should say something about my disregard of films like “Hostel” that, despite seeing it, I still backpacked across Europe and stayed in hostels (okay, so not in Slovakia). To me, films in that vein aren’t scary, they’re sadistic. “Saw” had an incredibly clever premise, but now, on film number four, the shtick is old. Exactly how many ways is it possible to disembowel someone? Michael Myers made due with a kitchen knife; he didn’t need Rube Goldberg devices.

Leigh Whannell, who wrote and starred in the original “Saw,” said in an interview on Bravo that he researched the Spanish Inquisition when coming up with various torture devices to include in the films. I have a problem with historical torture being used as a basis for entertainment, but precedent is against me (gladiatorial games were popular, right?).

I guess I just have to live with the fact that people like seeing horrible things happen to other people. I don’t mind violence, but it has to have a purpose, a point. There’s no rule saying that a horror film can’t be high in quality. “The Silence of the Lambs” won five Oscars, and is one of my favorite horror films.

Today’s filmmakers are so bankrupt of original ideas that they’re dredging up old classics to remake. Fortunately for Rob Zombie, his “Halloween” remake was well received, but I have pretty low hopes for the announced “Friday the 13th” remake. Especially because the production company keeps talking about Jason. If they’d bothered to watch “Scream,” they’d know that Jason wasn’t the killer in the original film, but rather Mrs. Voorhees, his mother. Drew Barrymore forgot this and it got her boyfriend killed.

The best horror films now come from places like Japan (“Ju-On,” on which “The Grudge” films are based) and even the United Kingdom (“The Descent” is one of the few honest-to-God scary films I’ve seen recently). American auteurs seem more involved in the torture-porn genre (“Hostel” and “Saw”) or doing bad remakes.

Horror films bring in money (we’ll probably have a “Saw VI” in two years) and have a solid demographic—us. AMC is probably bringing in gangbusters advertising dollars with their horror marathon. And I’ll continue to watch it in the hopes of actually finding something to scare me more than the thought of having an exam the next day.

Hayes is a Lenexa junior in journalism, political science and international studies. She is Kansan opinion editor.

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