Please don’t put sidewalk chalk on the benches, because it gets all over my bum. Thank you.

I’m a freshman, sitting in my room studying, while a bunch of upperclassmen run up and down the hall screaming, and I’m the childish one?

To whoever knocked my mirror off my car in the parking lot today: your mom smells like chicken.

The comment before this one sucked.

I would just like to say “thank you” to the guy who ran into the car door with his bike. It made my day. Walk it off, big guy.

To the guy in my Acting I class who chooses to wear white pants after Labor Day: Wear white boxers. Then I don’t mind looking at your butt.

I hate you, organic chemistry! I hate you! No, I didn’t mean that. No, but really, I hate you.

Free for All, why do I have so many boys in my life, but no men?

This girl just asked me if I was from Africa. Just because I’m black and have beautifully braided hair does not mean I’m from Africa.

I would really like to know why I don’t get a free Steak ‘n Shake burger after a football game.

You know what really grinds my gears? Criss Angel.

This is a drunk dial to the Free for All! It’s Tuesday night! Woo!

Me and my friends just smoked up two flies.

I was just wondering, are guys not supposed to wear white after Labor Day either?

I seriously just saw them roll four cases of beer in the Student Athlete Center. Do the athletes get more perks than I thought?

Sears sells steel-tipped darts.

To all you idiots who throw your tickets on the ground: It still goes against your record, you’ll still have holds against you, you’ll still have to pay. Don’t be an idiot.

Happy birthday, Melissa! Love, your marching trumpets.

Doesn’t the whistle come from the Campanile?

That sound is the Campanile and it goes off at very specific times so you know when class ends or is about to begin. One good thing about growing up in Lawrence: I don’t ask stupid questions.

(Editor’s Note: That’s the steam whistle, not the Campanile’s bell.)

I’ve discovered that the higher the “messy bun” on the head, the lower the intelligence level.

Free for All: why must you print 5 consecutive comments from the same person? It’s annoying, please stop. Thanks.

Why is it that half of the people who park in front of Hash don’t even live there?

I’m in Western Civ and we just spent 10 minutes on what a chair is. Why did Socrates make chairs so difficult?

So not only are they taking forever to do all the windows in the building...but now they’re waking me up to do it...and this couldn’t be done over the summer, why?!

To all the pretty girls I see on campus: don’t be afraid to look at me just because I’m handsome! It makes me feel very unattractive.

I was attacked by the sprinklers in front of Watson Library today.

Sure they don’t have to pay for cigs, but they’ll pay thousands in medical bills later.

Smokers are inconsiderate morons. My allergies get even worse because of their “little habit.” Oh well, at least I get to laugh when they get lung cancer.

Those complaining about second-hand smoke should be grateful that they don’t have to pay for cigs themselves!

Stop parking lot stalking me! Yeah, I was walking to my car, but I wasn’t leaving I was just dropping books off and getting money for a pop. And that’s right, pop, not soda or Coke.

These girls wearing shorts and back-less tops are driving me crazy. Legs are my weakness.

You know it’s time to go go the store when your dinner just consisted of a piece of toast with Ranch dressing and parmesan cheese. Yummy.

Free for All, you and the Sudoku save me from falling asleep in Geology 101.

I sprained my effing ankle today while I was walking home from class. DAMN POTHOLES!

If you don’t purchase the third season of “The Office” today, you might as well die.

Free for All: How mad do you think my mom would be if I decided to become a stripper?