Williams: Guilty pleasures abound

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By Jordan Williams

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I like to think of myself as a very serious and pragmatic person. But once in a great while I will say, think or do something that reminds me of how immature and infantile I can be. These reminders are my guilty pleasures. As a nice diversion, I’ve decided to enumerate them.

For me, the first of my favorite pleasures that pops to mind is excessive shopping. Just envisioning myself walking around the Plaza in Kansas City sends my senses into euphoria. When I set foot in the Coach or Burberry store, I lose free rein over my hands, wallet and the contents therein. The mea culpa happens when I have to defend my bank statement to my accountant, also known as my mother. But enough of high-end accessories; I absolutely must move on to those joggers. My day instantly brightens when a perfectly sculpted (and shirtless) jogger enters my visage. Yes, I know this blatant ogling is gratuitous and objectifying, but it’s high time that men face what women have been dealing with for centuries. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Speaking of women, third on my dubious list of self indulgence is soaking up the fabulousness and beauty of sorority girls. I love it when they randomly come by my fraternity to say hi to whomever is present. They are just so darn classy and fashionable, I can’t help but gravitate towards them and discuss the latest episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” or Nicole Richie’s newest haircut.

As most of my better friends know, I am unequivocally obsessed with news and politics. Being a rabid Democrat, one would think that my favorite political pundit would be, say, Bill Maher or James Carville. Incorrect. Rather, the one pundit that gets me all-a-ditty is Ann Coulter. Whenever I hear Sean Hannity announce that Ms. Coulter will be making a guest appearance on that night’s show, I swoon. I love (almost) everything that she says and does, much to the chagrin of my liberal compatriots. In fact, buying Ann Coulter’s book Slander was so much of a guilty pleasure, I practically had to hide the conservative tome from my mother. This may be a novel idea in today’s liberal America, but I actually believe in the freedom of speech, even if it riles my feathers.

Moving on, who could make a list of all things silly and pleasurable without mentioning “High School Musical 2?” I will admit that the choreography could have been instigated by a chimpanzee. Furthermore, Ashley Tisdale’s acting won’t ever be compared to Julia Roberts’, but the songs are so catchy. In my defense, around 17.2 million people agreed with me as per recent TV Guide ratings. Finally, the guilty pleasure that rounds out my list is my adoration of foreign music. I’m not going to lie, I sometimes feel unpatriotic when I notice that most of my favorite singers either don’t sing in English or hail from abroad. I am very adamant in my belief that British, Latin and Japanese music hasn’t been tainted by talentless ex-models and actors masquerading as singers. They are genuine, bona fide musicians and singers. I will gladly take the superior lyrical and vocal prowess of Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen over Beyoncé and Christina Aguilera. I would be ecstatic if more rock bands sounded like The Bravery, Keane or The Stereophonics. Also, somehow the very Japanese Namie Amuro can sing R&B just as well as most American hip-hoppers. And how can you resist that delectable Colombian Shakira as she whispers Spanish in your iPod earbuds?

Williams is a Coffeyville junior in English and pre-law.

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