“Damn I want a piece of that ass,” one KU freshman said to his friends as an attractive female passed through the cafeteria at Naismith Hall. But the girl was quickly forgotten, and conversation continued with the guys sharing stories about who had hooked up with whom, and whom they planned on hooking up with in the future.

If a female had stumbled upon the conversation at this particular lunch table, she might have made the assumption that sex is the only interest men have in women. Although sex is more often than not the ultimate goal of many college men, there is more to the male desire in women than the no-commitment sexual encounter.

Many times, however, men truly are looking only for sex.

A one-night stand provides no commitment, little time investment and plenty of opportunity to brag to friends. However, the one-night-stand isn’t always what guys are looking for.

“I don’t really get anything out of one-night stands,” said Nick Philipp, Santa Barbara, Calif., senior. “I’m not saying that I’ve never done it, but intimate encounters shouldn’t be taken for granted. That makes the special ones less special.”

Philipp is not alone.

“Some girls think guys are just looking for a one-night stand, when they’re really looking for a relationship,” said Nick Tobaben, Topeka junior.

Tobaben said that before he hooked up with a girl, he needed to get to know who she was as a person.

According to the Kinsey Report “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,” 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day. This is not saying that 54 percent of men want to engage in sex with someone they barely know.

So if not all men are looking for one-night stands, what do they want?

Good qualities: When I look for a girl, I’m looking for a person that is not only attractive, but also someone I can have an intelligent conversation with. In my mind, an unintelligent girl that says “like” every other word has lost almost all the sex appeal she might have had before she started talking.

I also like girls that are independent and original and who are not afraid to be themselves. Girls that have goals and ambition are very attractive.

Philipp’s advice to females is consistent with this idea.

“Girls should be themselves, have confidence, and not try to put on a show. All the makeup hides who they really are,” Philipp said. He went on to describe the type of girls he likes as compassionate, selfless, fun and friendly.

Girls who enjoy casual dating opposed to drunken one-night stands are attractive too. Taking a girl out for dinner or to a concert is a great way to get to know who she is as a person. Dating allows both people to make good decisions about with whom they might become more physical.

No no’s: Girls who whine and complain are simply annoying. For example, a girl that doesn’t mind a long walk home from the bar or a girl that doesn’t have a problem going to the bathroom outside when there are no other options, is much cooler than a girl who whines about unpleasant circumstances.

Clingy girls can be unattractive as well. I call them leaches because they never leave you alone. Clinging to a guy shows insecurity and a lack of independent ambition. Giving a guy room in a relationship is essential. This might mean allowing one or two nights a week for the guy to go out with his friends.

Overall, women should understand that males are essentially looking for the same things they are in a relationship.

“Guys want a friend — someone they can always count on other than the guys,” Philipp said.

Men are not just in it for the sex, although it can be a plus. They’re in it to find someone they can confide in and trust. They’re looking for a life-long friend to have fun with and get to know. And as surprising as it may sound, guys are almost always looking for love, but sometimes a threesome with hot, blonde twins is fine too.

— Edited by Jeff Briscoe