Free for All: September 27, 2007

By KANSAN

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Tonganoxie doesn’t rebuild, they reload.

For all those sexually frustrated guys, KU is the new Viagra. Oh yeah.

I just want to say “hi” to the cop who tried stopping me when I ran the stop sign on my bicycle but got away.

The KU Parking Department either better give me my money back, or somebody better build some yellow lots.

What the hell? I wanted KU Info.

To the fat girl who lives above me in Corbin: Seriously, I think you’re going to fall through the top of my roof.

Did someone put a dead body in my trunk and not tell me?

For all the people against the Muck Fizzou shirts, calm down. You have the rest of your life to be a stick-in-the-mud.

If the campanile is the erection of KU, then the stadium is the balls.

I just heard a shoe store’s add say that their shoes can help you lose weight. No kidding, it’s called exercising in them.

Ozzy Osbourne is more literate than President Bush.

If you pee-pee in my car, I pee-pee on your face!

What purpose to frat guys serve? Sorority girls.

To the couple who keeps making out in my O-chem class: Get a room or control yourselves.

Five hundred dollars for a technological fee in one year? You best be joking.

The Master Chief dies.

I would just like to say that I called in about the number of phones at KU, and I really didn’t want those to be typed out with hyphens. I really wanted them typed numerically. The hyphens make me look pretentious.

I was just studying at Watson for six hours, walked outside, and saw Safe Ride being pulled over. Made my night. Thanks, Safe Ride.

I couldn’t concentrate in my anti-war film class tonight, because I kept getting distracted by the butt hole that is Kirk Douglas’ chin.

I just had sex, and she wasn’t even drunk! Happy Hump Day!

I think I just saw an oompa loompa.

Reading is cool, but Jane Austen is not.

I’d just like to express my disgruntlement with the Student Housing Department. Come on, guys, be nice to the schol halls.

I live in a scholarship, but I don’t think I will anymore. Thank you Diana Robertson.

I’m pretty sure Spangles is the gateway to hell.

To the people who helped me push my car out of 11th and Tennessee: There is half a keg of PBR sitting outside of my apartment with your name on it.

Fifty-five dollars and fifty-five cents a month for internet is ridiculous. Especially when that internet is ResNet.

To the girl in my Spanish class: Please don’t ever wear that awful, retro, wanna-be outfit again.

Free for All, please tell the sorostitutes that leggings and a T-shirt isn’t a complete outfit, and Ugg boots will not complete that outfit.

You damn bikers are a menace! At least the cars don’t try to run us down on the sidewalks and on Wescoe beach.

Free For All: August 27, 2007

To the cute girl in the red car who just let me ...

/news/2007/aug/27/Free_for_all/

Free For All: September 4, 2007

It’d be cool if cops drove minivans.

/news/2007/sep/04/free_all_september_4_2007/

Free for All: April 30, 2007

My honors chem professor just made a pickle glow. Take that, regular ...

/news/2007/apr/30/free_all/

Free for All: April 6, 2007

My female friend, who is straight, didn’t want to lose her virginity, ...

/news/2007/apr/06/freeforall/

Free for All: March 5, 2007

Spring has come again, which means the start of another baseball season, ...

/news/2007/mar/05/free_all/

Free For All: April 18, 2007

Free for All is my new addiction.

/news/2007/apr/18/free_all/

Free for All: October 2, 2007

Stop following me you damn campus cop! You make me nervous!

/news/2007/oct/02/free_all_october_2_2007/

Free for All: April 2, 2007

Does Gumby’s deliver to Wichita?

/news/2007/apr/02/free_all/

Free For All: October 17, 2007

I just drowned a moth in my piss.

/news/2007/oct/17/free_all_october_17_2007/

Free For All: Sept. 10, 2007

Did anybody see the K-State video on YouTube? Don’t forget your power ...

/news/2007/sep/10/free_all/

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Free for All: April 10, 2007

I just got done using a handicapped stall, and I was wondering ...

/news/2007/apr/10/free_all/

Free For All: August 22, 2007

Thank God someone is standing up for “manorexics.”

/news/2007/aug/22/free_all/

Free For All: May 9, 2007

Jack Sparrow dies at the end of Pirates of the Caribbean 3.

/news/2007/may/09/free_all/

Free for All: August 29, 2007

I hate you, Park & Ride. Now I’m late for class. I ...

/news/2007/aug/29/free_all_august_29_2007/

Free for All: March 13, 2007

Hey Free-for-All, I just proved that violence is the answer! My iPod ...

/news/2007/mar/13/free_all/

Free For All: April 4, 2007

Whoever is flying the kite in front of Templin: You’re adorable.

/news/2007/apr/04/free_all/

Wescoe Wit

Lol.

/news/2012/mar/29/wescoe-wit/

Free for all: March 9, 2007

Free for All. . . For all the guys who’d like to ...

/news/2007/mar/09/free_all/

Your boyfriend has crabs

/news/2005/aug/31/op_jorgensen/

Free For All: September 6, 2007

The comment before this one sucked.

/news/2007/sep/06/free_all_september_6_2007/

Free For All: September 7, 2007

My hands smell like syrup.

/news/2007/sep/07/free_all/

Free For All: May 2, 2007

Thunderstorms are God’s way of giving hippies showers.

/news/2007/may/02/free_all/

Free For All: Sept. 20, 2007

Finally, someone else realizes that Crocs are the root of all evil.

/news/2007/sep/20/free_all_sept_20_2007/

Free for All: May 7, 2007

I got on the bus seat, out of the rain, and it ...

/news/2007/may/07/free_all/

Free for All: Oct. 12, 2005

/news/2005/oct/12/op_free_all/

Free For All: October 10, 2007

Looks like someone forgot their power towel.

/news/2007/oct/10/ffa/

Free For All: September 19, 2007

After all Britney has been through, leave Britney alone!

/news/2007/sep/19/free_all_september_19_2007/

Free for All: September 28, 2007

I just put a dollar in the vending machine, got food and ...

/news/2007/sep/28/free_all_september_28_2007/

Free For All: August 28, 2007

Free for All, do a barrel roll.

/news/2007/aug/28/free_all_august_28_2007/

Free For All: September 24, 2007

If a song is going to bleep out a word, they should ...

/news/2007/sep/24/free_all_september_24_2007/

Free for All: September 21, 2007

Community college sucks. I miss you, Free for All.

/news/2007/sep/21/free_all_september_21_2007/

Free For All: August 20, 2007

Another year, another lack of busses coming on time. Oh joy. Oh ...

/news/2007/aug/20/free_all_august_20_2007/

Free For All: October 29, 2007

College is evolving. We have Easy Mac instead of Ramen. Way to ...

/news/2007/oct/29/ffa/

Free for All: August 16, 2007

The band doesn’t play “Thriller” this year. Well, the games just won’t ...

/news/2007/aug/16/free_all/

Free for All: Sept. 14, 2007

Does anyone know what the deal is with that old crazy hippie ...

/news/2007/sep/14/free_all/

Free For All: April 20, 2007

I just drove by Burger King, and I saw Julian Wright with ...

/news/2007/apr/20/freeforall/

Free For All: Sept. 13, 2007

I have a friend. He eats beads so his poop will be ...

/news/2007/sep/13/free_all_sept_13_2007/

Free for All: May 8, 2007

My roommate just lost her shoe in the river on Tennessee.

/news/2007/may/08/free_all/

Free For All: August 24, 2007

What happened to the horoscopes in the newspaper? Now I don’t know ...

/news/2007/aug/24/free_all_august_24_2007/

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