Thursday, April 17, 2008
To this day, whenever I eat at a Mongolian barbeque-style restaurant, the image of my boyfriend with a slimy squid tentacle hanging out of his mouth forces itself back into my memory. First dates are a bitch.
I remember the first date I ever went on. I was a naïve high school sophomore, and he was a nervous high school junior. He decided on dinner and a movie. I didn’t know enough to suggest something better.
Dinner came first. He took me to B.D.’s Mongolian Barbeque (the kind of place where you walk through a buffet of raw meats and other condiments, choose a few random sauces and watch them cook it right in front of you). Trying to be on my best behavior, I chose food that I hoped wouldn’t prove too difficult to eat in a lady-like fashion. He, on the other hand, was less concerned with manners and more concerned with eating the most bizarre food he could find. Enter: the squid. The squid itself wasn’t the problem, but having our first real conversation include squid tentacles didn’t give off the best impression.
Next came The Time Machine starring Guy Pearce and Samantha Mumba. Our first problem came with deciding where to sit. He wanted the back row. I joked that I knew what his intentions were and preferred we sit in the middle. So, middle it was. The only conversation we had there was when Samantha Mumba came on screen in a see-through halter top. He leaned over and whispered, “You should get a top like that.” Though now he says he was just flirting, at the time it seemed a lot more creepy and desperate.
To avoid a potentially traumatizing episode like this, read Joe’s story about first date do’s and don’ts. As you’ll see, dinner and a movie is definitely a first date don’t.
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