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The first step to love

By Joe Hunt

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Stumped with what to do on a first date? Nervous? You should be. This is your one chance to make a good impression on that special someone you’ve had your eye on. But don’t worry too much, because with this handy guide to picking out an activity for a first date, we’ve got you covered.

The tips you see below were collected from students, an on-air call to a nationally syndicated radio show and the editor of a men’s interest Web site.

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KU’s own Spencer Museum of Art, 1301 Mississippi St., is a great first date destination.

Don’t do dinner and a movie

Who thought that watching each other chew food and then sitting side-by-side in silence for two hours made for a good date? Well, news flash: It doesn’t. Joy Browne, radio host and self-proclaimed Doctor of Love says nerves will be racing during dinner as you both worry about your table manners, and between swallowing there won’t be much time to talk and get to know each other. Things won’t get any better during the movie, either. “If you talk during the movie, I will strangle you,” Browne says.

Take the attention off yourself

You don’t want to be in a situation where you have to carry the evening—where it depends entirely upon the power of your own conversation, says James Bassil, editor-in-chief of www.askmen.com. Try going to a place where you have things to talk about, like a museum or a casual show. “I’d like to go to something like a comedy club, a place where it’s easy to break the ice,” says Jarrett Simpson, Harrisonville, Mich., graduate student.

Try something outdoors

When the weather warms up, there will be plenty of opportunities to get some sunshine. Browne recommends going out for a picnic or to a sporting event, as long as you both are rooting for the same team. Something like the zoo works, as well. “Anywhere you can walk around, be relaxed, be comfortable and hold hands is great,” she says.

Learn something new together

Sharing a new experience takes the pressure off, as you aren’t expected to be good at whatever you’re doing, Browne says. That’s what broke the ice for Ze Wang, Beijing, China, exchange student, on her first date with her boyfriend of four years. “He taught me to eat western foods, where the dishes come one after another, as opposed to Chinese where it’s all at one time,” she says. “It was really fun.”

Try to avoid Friday and Saturday night

Bassil makes sure his readers are aware that going out on a Friday or Saturday adds another level of intensity to the date. Because that’s the last thing you want on a first date, he recommends trying Wednesday and Thursday, when people are less likely to be busy or feel like they could be doing something else. Plus, he says you don’t want to give off the impression that you never have anything going on over the weekends. Browne agrees. “I would say, ‘Listen, I’d love to do Saturday, but that just won’t work for me,’” she says.

Don’t spend the entire evening at the bar

The bar can be a great place to do a little dancing and have some fun, but make it something you add on to the end of the night rather than the main event. When you do get there, Bassil advises against drinking too much. “I think people want to drink to ease tensions a little bit, and it’s a great social lubricant,” he says, “Just don’t drink too much.”

Keep it casual

Above all, you’re on a first date to enjoy yourself and get to know the other person. The more comfortable and low-key the setting, the better the chance that will happen. “You don’t want to do too much on a first date,” says Molly Fischer, Silverton, Ore., graduate student. “Just try some mini golf or bowling, and then get some coffee afterwards,” Fischer says.

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