“It looks like a zoo in here,” my friend remarked about the movie theater full of seat-crawling, yelling and purposefully loud teenagers in the audience.
“Yeah, except a zoo smells a little better,” I replied scathingly.
When I went to see the movie “Prom Night,” all I wanted was some mindless entertainment. What I ended up with was a headache brought on by the youth of Lawrence.
I was probably asking for it considering the movie was “Prom Night,” but I didn’t think wanting to see a cheap thrill was going to result in an hour-and-a-half of temple rubbing and checking my watch.
Movie theaters are not doing enough to correct the problem of disruptive teenagers.
One passive solution is warning patrons of the movie who looked as if they were mature enough (I was sporting a beard that night, so I concluded that the amount of facial hair men have equals their maturity level) that the movie was already full of teenagers. If I had any problems or complaints, I could have reported them. I was caught off guard, and actually pleased for a moment, that the theater had confronted the problem and was actively seeking feedback.
My pleasure quickly subsided, though, when I realized that I could miss a crucial plot twist to the movie by having to leave the theater to report any problems.
I paid $7.50 to see a movie, not to babysit. Any problems that the theater employees have foreseen should be resolved by the time I nestle in my seat.
A large chunk of attendees to “Prom Night” would not have made it past the maturity pre-screening process, though, so other courses of action were employed.
One apparent resolution was in the form of a well-built security guard armed with a nightstick. He threatened the audience by saying if he saw one glow from a cell phone or heard one whisper, he would not hesitate to force people to leave. Even I reached into my pocket and switched my phone from vibrate mode to silent.
This tactic worked until a little blood showed up on the screen, and the audience consciously shrilled, which was followed by subsequent laughter.
Then the high-pitched whispers began, and the guard had to once again interrupt the movie to instill fear back into the audience.
An employee of the theater said that once the guard had to carry a teenager over his shoulder and out the theater after she refused to stop texting and talking. She said the audience gave a low-key applause when she was removed.
“It was like ‘Scary Movie.’ You know, without the dying part,” the employee said.
I looked around the theater and was thankful that I dodged growing up in this generation that was having a hard time growing up themselves.
I have been immature, but I cannot recall being disruptive to the point of aggravating a theater full of people. The action the movie theater has taken is only a temporary solution, and I realize that the theaters have to make money. Teenagers will grow up eventually (perhaps not soon enough), but not until the theaters stop accommodating them.
I, though, will not be frequenting the theater as I used to. I know I’m only a number to them and a gaggle of giggling teenagers far outweighs one disgruntled college student.
But for those fun, mindless popcorn flicks, I’ll be staying home and making some Jiffy Pop.
Hirschfeld is an Augusta junior in journalism.
Editor's Note
A message from Matt Hirschfeld
Hirschfeld: Where would we be without gay ...
Blankenau: Discovering the weird world of French ...
Doing Without: Money
Absence makes the heart grow...?
Hirschfeld: Who are the biggest victims of ...
Battle the bar fatigue
Not in the mood for the atmosphere of a bar? Here are ...
To hell and back
A fight outside Naismith Hall began Thor Nystrom's year-long journey into the ...
Mersmann: Bad parodies hurt U.S. culture
Movies often misinterpret the genre they are trying to mock.
Where is the audience?
Theatre performances at Crafton-Preyer Theatre last week could not attract much of ...
Clandestine Cine-philes
If candy could ever be considered contraband, then look no further than ...
Nichols: College start-ups gain popularity
The dorm room is the new nesting grounds for small businesses.
Movies to watch for in 2009
A sneak peak at next year's blockbusters and busts
Cruise at War
Same silence, different day
Adolescence was a lonely time, until I realized being alone can be ...
Lysen: TV: a more effective escape
Movies are overrated.
The spell is over
KU students mark the end of an era with the final Harry ...
Editor's note
First date dos and don'ts
Creative, fiction writing prove adventurous for student ...
Topeka senior uses real-life situations to create fiction stories.
Editor's note
Hirschfeld: Don’t be language prejudice
Some people judge a person’s linguistics by the color of their skin. ...
Basketball great Maurice King dies
In 1954 King became the first black starter in Kansas basketball history. ...
Ours for now
Raising a puppy for service
Editor's note
Revisit your childhood movies.
No Milk money for Cinemark
Boycotters want people to see the movie Milk, but not at Cinemark ...
Letter: Gay students shouldn't attend separate schools
Moffitt: Life lessons from Woody Allen
Woody Allen's classic films have a lot to tell us about love ...
Students, residents gather to view “The Day ...
Actor, director and producer answer questions about 25-year-old film, “The Day After”.
‘Harry Potter’ remains popular among students
The latest movie keeps young adults coming back to catch up with ...
Student to compete in film competition
Senior Joe Carey will be participating in the 7th Annual One Night ...
Personal essay: The way of the monster
For Abby Olcese, horror movies are more than just a good scare ...
This weekend: 'Doubt'
The popular play will be at the Lawrence Community Theatre.
Personal essay: Not just a teenage dirtbag
How dropping out of high school was one of the best decisions ...
Sister Act
Some talents don't run in the family.
Minster: Kids growing up faster and faster
Third graders in Georgia took the reaction of frustrated students into the ...
Editor's note
A message from Matt Hirschfeld
Surprising stories come from campus traffic booths
Meet Susan Shaw. She counts cars from her booth at Fourteenth Street ...
Years apart
How my 37-year-old brother became someone I could count on
Horror movies inspire student group
'Bleeding Kansas' looks to organize genre fans, campus events.
Acting out to get ahead
Theater students use the stage to mold careers

Kansas Jayhawk fans hold aloft a reproduction of ...
2 comments
Erin Saupe, a Ph.D. student from St. Cloud, ...
1 comment
0 comments
Armed robbers continue to threaten.
3 comments
KUnited presidential candidate Libby Johnson and vice presidential ...
1 comment
Comments
Hirschfeld: Young teens disrupt entire movie theater
Also, it helps to not go see a PG-13 horror/thriller.
Sign in to comment
Or login with:
OpenID