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Drunken nights lead to dishing out the dough

By Christine D'Amico

Thursday, August 7, 2008

College has long been depicted as the one place in your life when drunken debauchery is accepted. The antics of John Belushi in “Animal House,” Will Ferrell in “Old School,” and Paul Rudd in “Clueless” have set a benchmark of trouble-making that college students have tried to mimic ever since. But how much do the standard activities cost if Johnny Law decides to crash the party? Here’s a run down of common offenses undergraduates collect.

Streaking Through The Quad

Cody Chaplin, Wichita senior, is a self-proclaimed Dallas Cowboys fanatic. It was November and the Cowboys had won in overtime with a field goal.

“I was so excited I pulled my clothes off and ran around the block,” Chaplin said.

Chaplin said the November run through the student ghetto was quite invigorating.

It was all fun and games for Chaplin because he didn’t get caught. But if the police had happened to cruise by, the next morning Chaplin would have been greeted by more than a hangover and a cold.

Streaking is considered by Kansas law to be a lewd and lascivious act. It’s classified as a class B non-person misdemeanor that runs offenders $200 to $500 and 100 hours of community service.

However, if you’re still willing to risk it, make sure to cover up around people 16 and younger.

If you streak past a child you’ll land yourself a level 9 person felony, getting you jail time and a spot on the Kansas Sex Offender registry.

Peeing In Plain Sight

There was no way Nick Nieses, 23, Wichita, was leaving a KU basketball game for a bathroom break. But he couldn’t quite make it back to his friend’s place to relieve himself either. There was, however, Wescoe Beach.

Nieses wasn’t caught either, but if the KU police had been combing the area, he would have received a lewd and lascivious charge, classified as a class B non-person felony and a minimum $500 fine.

Trying To Get Lucky With The Freshmen

They’re young and cute, but dangerous and Erin Alonso, 21, Topeka, used to be one of them. Her senior year in high school she attended a party at a twenty-something’s house and ended up with more than she bargained for.

The previous weekend, police had been called to the house following the report of a false rape claim. Unaware of the circumstance, the next weekend Alonso and a group of friends attended the party.

Soon after they arrived, the same police who investigated the report the weekend before came to serve the twenty-something with a furnishing to minors ticket.

While on the couch, one of the women officers broke into tears about their safety at a house like that.

“She was like, ‘I don’t want to see any of you getting hurt,’ which was weird because we could hear the guy who owned the house getting tazed outside in his front yard,” Alonso said.

After the tazing, the twenty-something landed a furnishing alcohol to minors violation, or a class B person misdemeanor. Consequences for this violation yield a $200 to $500 fine with 100 hours of community service.

Fake IDs

Stephanie Rhoads, Topeka senior, was out last year with her boyfriend and a group of friends. After finding a place to sit down at a local bar, Rhoads noticed her friends running to the back porch and her boyfriend’s face go blank.

“I knew the cops had targeted me,” Rhoads said.

The police officer escorted Rhoads outside of the bar to further question her on the events of the night. While on her way out the door, she managed to throw her fake ID onto the patio of Buffalo Wild Wings.

She was able to finagle her way out of admitting she had entered the bar with a fake ID, but the doorman of the establishment overheard the conversation and tried to assist.

“He was trying to be ever so helpful and went to get the tapes that proved I showed him a fake ID, so he could get out of letting a minor into the bar,” Rhoads said.

Rhoads got slapped with an MIP, carrying a punishment of $100-$250 fine and a maximum 30 day jail sentence. However, by managing to ditch her altered ID, she escaped a level 8 non-person felony.

According to the Student Monitor, the average monthly allowance for an undergraduate at a four-year college is $208. Roughly speaking, all of these violations will force their offenders to forfeit partying for at least a month, not to mention the community service hours that will undoubtedly cut into any party schedule, to pay off the government.

— - Edited by Mandy Earles

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