Where are all the hot lesbians on campus? -Cindy, junior

Matt: My first piece of advice is to try not to call it like you see it. Lesbians are more difficult to determine based on mannerisms or looks as compared to their counterparts, gay men.

I don’t know many lesbians personally, but I know of many throughout Lawrence. KU’s Queers and Allies has some lesbian members, and they’re all nice and could help you meet other lesbians.

Gay guys are usually a good source to find out about gay people in the community. They’ll give you the lowdown on who has done what with whom, and you can decide from there whether you want to pursue it.

Without delving into many flannel-laden stereotypes about lesbians, that’s all I have for you.

Fran: Unfortunately, being a straight woman, the best advice I can give you is to flirt with the girls you are interested in and see what comes of it, regardless of whether you think they are lesbians. My lesbian friend told me that many lesbians are still not “out” yet. So, like Matt said, judging by looks alone is not really a good criterion.

The rules for finding lesbians are basically the same as those for seeking out datable men. My friend told me she could usually tell if the girl she liked was into her too by how she responded to her flirting. You should get a vibe that the person’s interested, or notice that every day she moves to a seat farther and farther across the classroom from you once she realizes you want to get in her pants.

And apparently a lot of the hot lesbians go to the bars, and I would imagine they would be reasonably easy to pick out. Drunk girls making out would definitely catch my eye!

I'm so in love with my GTA and I don't know what to do? -Joan, freshman

Matt: I took a gander at the University’s Consenting Relationships Policy, and it was enlightening to discover that relationships between GTAs and students are not forbidden, but just looked down upon by the University.

The work that would go into even asking for a date, though, seems like more effort than just waiting until the semester is over. Faculty and students are first advised to decline such invitations. If the two decide to enter into that kind of relationship, the GTA must remove himself from an evaluative position.

This means he or she has a third party grade all your assignments, presentations, papers and tests. This would be a headache for your GTA. Just wait until your semester is over and he no longer has an ‘evaluative role’ in your life. It’ll save you both from a lot of scrutiny that could put unnecessary strain on the relationship.

Fran: I’m not a major supporter of one-night stands or sex outside of committed relationships in general, but if I had to make a list of the 10 deviant sexual acts KU students should perform before graduating, screwing a professor or GTA would be on that list, right after a clandestine meeting in the stacks of Watson Library.

Beyond sex, you should know what you are getting yourself into, though. My graduate student friends have typically told me that, at this point in their lives, they are looking for relationships, not hook-ups. These guys are in their post-frat days, and they’re looking to settle down.

I say go for it. The worst that could happen is the person turns you down, and that risk seems worth it to me.

I just got an offer for a threesome. To take it or not to take it? -Trevor, sophomore.

Matt: All threesome stories I’ve come across have involved heavy amounts of alcohol, so I’ll assume that’ll be the case here if you decide to go for it. A lot of outcomes—mostly negative—also could result from going for it.

One of my friend’s threesome stories involved him getting left out of the act and the other two doing the nasty instead. This could be embarrassing if you made a big deal about the threesome and were left out in the end.

Gay rumors could also spark from the act. Even if it’s a two-girls-one-guy situation, stories about it will be swapped through dozens of friends and acquaintances, and all of a sudden, ‘Erin’ becomes ‘Aaron,’ and you’ll need some damage control to squash those rumors.

Numerous other consequences could also result, but if you think you can handle it, do it. Who knows, Doublemint Gum could have been right all along: “Double your pleasure, double your fun.”

Fran: Threesomes are best left as hot sex scenes in movies or in your mind.

Two is a party; three is a crowd. Eventually, one of the women is going to be riding or blowing you, leaving the other with nothing to do. I can’t imagine that girl No. 2 is going to patiently wait her turn while you do her friend.

And if this is a threesome with your girlfriend and her friend, that’s even worse. Better make sure your girlfriend isn’t the one who gets kicked out! Even if you play the situation like the ladies man I’m sure you are, from that point on, your girlfriend will always be afraid you’re cheating on her with her friend—or anyone else, for that matter, as you will have proven that monogamy within the relationship is a rule you don’t mind breaking.