Cancer takes Lawrence resident on a bumpy ride

On a mid-August morning nearly three years ago, cramps shot through Jeff Young’s stomach. He headed for the hospital assuming he had a bad case of food poisoning.

Four days later, Abby Young spent her birthday in the hospital buried under a doctor’s grim verdict: A colonoscopy had revealed a mass in her husband’s colon. It was probably cancerous.

The next week, doctors removed the mass that blocked Jeff’s digestive system. A closer look revealed the lining of his stomach was dotted with what looked like a shotgun spray of cancer seedlings.

The procedure took some of Jeff's lymph nodes and one-third of Jeff’s colon, and gave a diagnosis and a prognosis: The 28 year-old had stage four — or terminal — colon cancer.

“The journey began,” Jeff said. “The ride started.”

***

Jeff and Abby were building a life together. Jeff’s self-owned mortgage company was growing and Abby, a 2004 Kansas graduate, was bringing in a steady paycheck from her first job out of college. The two had just bought their first house.

“Finally we were making money, all the hard work was paying off, and this happened,” Jeff said. “Our income literally went to zero overnight.”

Cancer put the brakes on the couple’s life. Abby’s former employer cut her loose less than one week before she would have become eligible for benefits from the Family and Medical Leave Act. If Abby were eligible for FMLA benefits, she could have taken unpaid leave with the guarantee of returning to her job.

Jeff struggled with the idea of putting his life in the doctors’ hands during his first round of chemotherapy. He became impatient with his lack of medical progress and unsteady financial situation.

“I started to lose faith in humanity,” Jeff said. “You’d think that if people would hear that someone who is 28 just got diagnosed with terminal cancer, they’d be a little bit more like, ‘Can we help you?’ or, ‘We’re sorry,’ more than, ‘You’re costing us money’”.

Jeff’s young age worked as a handicap after his diagnosis. The couple searched for guidance, but most support groups were meant for children or senior patients. Abby said the lack of information for young people trying to live with cancer was frustrating.

***

Bad day after bad day passed until Jeff and Abby met a nurse named Georgenia Bowling. Georgenia’s job was to tend to an infection on Jeff’s stomach, but she did more than that. When the couple left for a doctor’s appointment one day, Georgenia slipped them an envelope containing $50 and a note that read, “Go have a good dinner.”

“The three of us just clicked, and instead of a nurse-patient relationship, it was more of a friendship,” Jeff said. “She was the first one who ever did anything for us.”

Georgenia guided Jeff’s treatment and helped Abby find helpful resources on the Internet. Abby found a more cooperative employer. She works for the state of Kansas, and is allowed leave to take care of Jeff.

Georgenia was just the beginning. People started noticing, started helping with the little things to make the bad days better.

The couple returned home one day to find their next door neighbor cleaning and repairing their house’s gutters.

“Little things just started happening,” Jeff said. “All of a sudden people you thought were negative were giving everything and bending over backward. At that point, something changed in me, personally.”

April 7, 2008 was one of the good days. Just one week after a doctor recommended Jeff enter hospice care for people who are close to death, the couple went to a sports bar to watch the Kansas basketball team win the national championship. Afterward, Abby wheeled Jeff down Massachusetts Street in celebration with tens of thousands of fellow Jayhawk fans. Now a basketball signed by the championship team serves as the centerpiece of Jeff’s Jayhawk-centric basement.

June 7 was another good day. Some of the couple’s friends set up a poker tournament to help raise funds for Jeff’s treatment. Area stores donated prizes such as a flat screen television, a barbeque grill and an iPod for a raffle.

One day the next week, Applebee's donated some of its profits to Jeff and Abby. CiCi's Pizza followed suit the next week, donating 25 percent of one day's profits.

“When people step up to the plate to help even though they don’t know you that well, it’s breathtaking to see and experience,” Abby said. “You can’t express how much it helps.”

***




Because it is commonly connected with old age, colon cancer isn’t considered a young peoples’ disease. According to the American Cancer Society, less than one percent of colon cancer diagnoses occur in people aged 39 or younger. But considering more than 110,000 cases occurred nationwide in 2007, it is clear colon cancer does affect young Americans.

"Most of our patients are 50 or older, but unfortunately we do see it happen to younger people once in a while," Lawrence Memorial Hospital Clinical Coordinator Julie Tuley said. "It often happens when people get into their 30's."

Abby has become a part of the young cancer community, visiting Web sites such as www.youngcancerspouses.com and www.planetcancer.org to connect with and offer advice to others dealing with similar situations.

“There’s a whole community out there,” Abby said. “It’s more prevalent than people think, but it’s not being diagnosed because the most common symptom for colon cancer is no symptom.”

Jeff did his part to help by insisting his family members each undergo a cancer screening. As a result of the tests, doctors found and removed early stages of colon cancer in Jeff’s 23 year-old sister, Kristina.

Touched by Jeff and Abby's optimism and actions, their friends sent them a letter that read in part, "You have taught us to judge each day, not by the harvest, but by the seeds you plant."

***

Jeff Young spends the bad days in bed, sedated.

On a good day, the couple might head to the park with their dogs, Oscar and Jennie. Or Abby might take push Jeff, in his wheelchair, up and down Massachusetts Street.

“Everyday life has changed in every aspect,” Abby said. “But the things that aren’t controlled by the cancer we keep very close and dear.”

Without many days guaranteed, it’s all about making them good days.

— Edited by Jesse Temple

 

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