Hello! After my girlfriend and I have sex I always fall asleep. It is automatic and uncontrollable, and nothing she does can wake me up. Is this normal? What could I do to stop it? Thanks for your help, Jayhawk Dirty Talk!

— Tootsie Bear

I wouldn’t say that automatic and uncontrollable sleeping after sex is normal; especially if the things your girlfriend does to wake you up have no effect. As long as the friction you two create doesn’t cause a fire that you need to quickly get away from, I think you are fine. On the other hand, I bet your girlfriend may want something more than an unresponsive body lying next to her after sex.

Lucky for you, I have a few suggestions, as well as some reasons, for your carnal narcolepsy.

First I suggest some sort of verbal communication during sex. Whispering romantically during sex and being vocal at times of intense pleasure can prove exciting as well as beneficial to combating fatigue. Do anything you can to keep breathing. Sometimes men and women both hold their breath during sex (just like any physically demanding activity), which can cause fatigue. I’ve heard rumors that holding your breath can give you a more intense orgasm, but I don’t put stock into that. Tantric breathing techniques have been around for close to 6000 years for a reason. Plainly said, a lack of air equals a lot of fatigue.

If you’re having sex at night, about the time when you would normally be going to bed, I would suggest having sex during the day. Your body does get into a rhythm in which it expects to go to bed at a certain time. If you are having sex when you are normally asleep, your body will recognize this and want to sleep soon after. Tiring physical activity during bedtime will help lead you to dream land and away from your wide-awake girlfriend. Try having sex in the morning after you wake up and are already well-rested.

More often than not, you are probably having sex in a bed or some other place where you normally sleep. Your brain associates your bed with being asleep, not being awake. I suggest having sex in places that aren’t conducive to sleeping such as the kitchen and the shower. This way when you orgasm you won’t have a place to fall asleep. Wait! You may not want to try this in a place that has a lot of potentially dangerous objects. If you really do fall asleep automatically and uncontrollably, forking in the kitchen may be a bad idea with all of those knives and other pointy utensils around.

Lawrence Urologist Doug Klingler, M.D., has some suggestions as well. Dr. Klingler suggests not eating a big dinner ahead of time, having sex during the day time and consuming caffeine beforehand.

“Obviously he could try taking some stimulants. I think just anecdotally, most guys comment that they get very tired after intercourse,” Dr.Klingler said. “You know, the orgasm is up here (points to his head), sleep center’s up here (points to his head again). The orgasm is mediated. You know, it’s a reflex arc. You hit a certain stage, you get the deposition of the ejaculate into the prostate and you get the rhythmic contractions of the muscles which ejaculate it out. That’s all caused by up here (points to head.) The same thing with sleep. There are lots of neurotransmitters and all sorts of things going on in the head. If you look in the movies, anywhere else, kind of the classic is guys turn over and go to sleep and I think there’s probably something to that.”

There are other obvious, things you can do in addition to the above advice.

During sex you could try making her do all of the work, avoid alcohol and drink coffee or some other caffeinated beverage before and after, but not during sex. That could be messy.

If none of this works, just tell your girlfriend that your sleepiness is nature taking its course. Tell her that she should take advantage of this cuddling opportunity...until you wake up and give her what she’s really waiting for.

Peter is a Shawnee sophomore in journalism.