To compete with other political ads exposing the “truth” about life as we know it, the Corn Refiner’s Association launched an ad campaign promoting the “truth” about high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS), America’s favorite fattener, err, sweetener.

The commercials go something like this: One person is enjoying something, presumably with HFCS in it, and another person incredulously calls into question their commitment to good health. The syrup junkie asks the health fanatic what’s so bad about HFCS, and the fanatic is suddenly at a loss for words. Junkie then chides Fanatic in a mother-knows-best sort of way that there’s nothing wrong with corn syrup. It’s tasty, all natural just like corn, and so gosh-darn American! Fanatic, seeing the error in her ways, immediately drinks or eats as much corn syrup as she can get her hands on.

Perhaps the commercials are a bit more subtle. But the message they intend to drive home is simple: Corn syrup is the same as sugar and is harmless — in moderation.

Here’s a short list of other things that, when consumed in various degrees of “moderation,” probably won’t kill you: crayons, gasoline, rat poison.

Or, think about how effective slapping the “drink responsibly” label onto beer commercials is the next time you see someone do a keg stand. It’s just another vague “pass the blame onto you” catchphrase.

Using “in moderation” is a pathetic way to legitimize preaching the good news of corn syrup to a nation battling obesity, especially in children, who bring big money in the sweetener market.

Besides, how is the average consumer suppose to consume HFCS “in moderation” when it shows up in nearly every processed food? Not just the obvious foods, like soda and breakfast cereals, but “simple” foods like bread and crackers, and even medicine. There’s HFCS in my damn three-cheese whole wheat tortellini, and I have no idea why.

The other issue is the natural deliciousness of HFCS, which the Corn Refiner’s Association constantly repeats is just as good as sugar because they’re making no profit off sugar. But if you’ve ever tasted a Coke made in Mexico, where HFCS use is heavily restricted, you know the delicious difference between a product that’s corn sugar-based and one that’s not.

And finally, there’s the issue of whether HFCS is actually more harmful than sugar or other actually natural sweeteners, sweeteners not chemically reconstructed from something that was once plucked from nature. HFCS is metabolized differently from other sweeteners, but whether that’s a bad thing or not, scientists still aren’t sure.

The Corn Refiner’s Association is right on one thing: Corn syrup doesn’t cause obesity, just like alcohol doesn’t cause fatalities from drunken driving.

But although they preach moderation as a way to get around obesity, the elephant in the room, they sure don’t want you to moderate your purchasing of products containing their sweet ooze.

They’re playing a bizarre health card to get you to purchase more of their unhealthy product — and that’s just tasteless.

— — McConnell is a Dallas junior in English.